Forgive My Crazy Bits

Okay, it's share time.  Last week someone pissed me off.  Yep.  I was irate that someone would insinuate I basically look down on the people that got me this far, my readers, as if they were a group of whiny childish peasants.  I'm not going to lie about it and say I just brushed it off like a lot of other writers are able to.  They must be robots, because I have feelings.  That comment didn't take a jab at my writing, but at me personally, which is why I was so utterly shocked.

Sure, this is online and you don't know me personally, and I might be a snarky-tongued chicky most of the time, but I'm human too.  I'm young.  I'm new at this.  And I'm not some published know-it-all droid that can become a different person online than in real life and let it all roll off me like water.  I share things with you because I like to, because I don't want to be fake.  I want to interact with you guys because I like being connected with you.  I give you guys tons of stuff for free because I like to.  And I genuinely like you guys.  Does that entitle me to anything from you?  No.  Do I think you should bow down to me and my opinion because I'm the Regina George of M/M fiction?  No, no, and no I'm not.  I'm a speck of sand in the writing ocean.  I know that.  But on my blog, it's me and you guys.  That's it.

This is my space to let go and have fun away from the stress of the recently realized cut throat reality of publishing.  This is a place that I let you guys have fun too.  But when I wake up in the morning to a comment like that?  It puts me in another place.  I can't help it.  I can't help but defend myself as a person, and shut down a little afterwards.  This has nothing to do with my writing, and for those of you probably thinking I'm being a whiny baby who should just zip it and move on - if I'm being myself here - screw you.  When I put my stories out there for pay, I expect to be critiqued and given 1 star reviews, and razzed by the harem of pros out there looking at my stuff.  I expect my writing flaws to be pointed out, to help me learn, and yeah, I'll move on from that, because that's what this industry is about.  I'm not stupid.  I'm fully aware of the blood, sweat, and tears coming my way.  But again, that's another topic entirely.

And just like in real life, if you insult me personally, not my writing, I'm going to have a big problem with it.  Just because you're online doesn't make a difference, either.  And this isn't me waging war on my readers if they have a difference of opinion.  I welcome your opinion just like you welcome mine.  This is me telling you all that if I get another comment like that, it's going to be deleted for my own peace of mind - like it was never there in the first place and I never saw it.  There won't be anymore talk about it. There won't be anymore posts on it.  It will simply be deleted.

Can I do that anywhere else but my blog?  No and I know that.  And that's the absolute fucking beauty of this being my space.  That said, this is still a space for you guys, too.  I love hearing from you guys, but from now on if you have something that bothers you, something I said, buck up and email me personally.  Don't broadcast it all over my blog like a hater. It'll tell me a lot more about you, that you have enough respect for me to talk it through like an adult and most likely find out it was all a misunderstanding.  I'll show you the same respect, I promise.  We're moving on from this.  I've said my peace.  I'm not mad at the anon.  I was, but I'm not anymore.  I don't have it in me to hold a grudge.  Never have, never will.  I think we understand each other now and that's what's important.  I'm over it now, well, after a bag of cheesecake bites and an eighties movie marathon.

God bless you, John Hughes.

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles... How the hell can you not crack a smile over that one?  Fucking John Candy.  Ridiculous.

Okay, now that it's all out of my system *shakes hands* I'm going wave some burning sage around the laptop and clear out all the bad juju.  Not really, but you get the picture.  Happy thoughts from here on out.  I promise I won't pull a Britney.  I love my hair too much.  Wow, that sounded a bit vain.  Whatever, I don't care.  I love my hair.  lol  I don't know how to end this post.  Shit... I'm officially crazy.  *shrugs*  But aren't we all?

xx

~Night