An Excerpt From Cade

Side note:  I started this blog one year ago today.  Happy birthday, little bloggie.

*****

“How is it I’ve been with you all day, but I feel like I haven’t seen you?”  He ran his hands over my shoulders, massaging into the muscle.  The soft material inside of my hoodie rubbed against my skin with every roll of his strong fingers.

“You’re the answer guru.  You tell me, oh wise one.”  My hands met his arms, finding the solid strength I’d missed all day.  “You always know what I’m thinking anyway.”

“Most of the time.”  He wet his bottom lip, taking a step forward to effectively line our bodies closer together.  “You’ve been thinking a lot today.”

I put my arms around his neck.  My fangs started to crowd my mouth.  His delicious scent called them out to play.  “Can you blame me?”

“I can’t blame you for thinking, but once again, you were thinking too hard.  I know it’s tough to go with the flow, Cade.”  He put his forehead to mine.  “But you have to chill out or you’re going to make yourself crazy, and take me down the rabbit hole in the process.  You can’t fix everyone, and you sure as hell can’t fix what doesn’t need fixing.”

“I guess you missed the parts where I was thinking about you.”  Our cheeks rubbed together, marking each other.  His day old stubble scratched my cheek, but I pressed closer anyway.  “I thought about you more than anything.”

“I know.”  He smiled.  “Confession, I sat in the front seat on purpose.”

“I was wondering about that.”  I kissed his cheek, which was more of a slide of open lips across his jaw.

He responded, grinding against my leg.  “Separation makes the heart grow fonder, or some bullshit like that.”

“So you tried to keep yourself from me on purpose?  How did you think that would go?”  I pressed my nose into his neck, dragging in his smell.

“Just like this," he purred.  "However, my ideal outcome would have involved nudity by now.  Not sure we have time for that, though.”  He gripped my ass with both hands, firmly pushing my groin into his.  There was no doubt in my mind, he was definitely happy to see me.

“Everything is always about sex with you.  I’m glad I wasn’t around when you were a teenager.  My ass would have begged for mercy.”  I laughed into his neck.  Every second seemed to tick by too fast, closer to the inevitable, the conclusion I wasn’t looking forward to.  I wanted to stay here, with him.  Sue me, I wanted to play house a little, lounge around naked and do whatever the fuck we wanted, but it wasn’t going to happen.  He was right, we didn’t have time.  So I kept things light.  I didn’t want to go into this mess on a bad note.  I needed him behind me with his full support.

Micah snorted.  “You’re right.  Beautiful, wealthy, with a little attitude, I would’ve probably mistaken you for one of those country club types, and not even given you a shot.  I had a thing for boys from the wrong side of the tracks back then.  Bad boys."  He held onto me tight, moving from my ass to my back with his hands, and I knew he knew what I was thinking.  “But things change.  People change.  I'm glad my taste improved.”

“We were all different back then,” I said, strangely void of emotion.  My thoughts drifted away from the conversation.

“Stop.”  His fingers dug into me.  “I’m okay, Cade.  I really am,” he grit.  The invisible time bomb in my head dinged, and I lost my optimistic facade that had only been hanging by a thread.

“I’m not okay with it.”  I pulled back.  “I don’t want to do it, Micah.  You have to believe if there was another way, I wouldn’t do this.  But I have to, because like you said, it’s not about me.  It’s about them, and if I’m supposed to lead, I have to have people to follow me.”

And like I was some kind of monster, he put distance between us, pacing the room with clenched hands.  His dark blue eyes slanted at me as he whipped his head around.  “They’re criminals," he roared.  "I don't want their dirty fucking hands on what's mine!”  And there it was.  He wasn’t okay at all.