Friday, May 25, 2012

Making a Difference in the Real World



Everyday like clockwork I go into Starbucks.  Anybody who knows me, knows how much I love that damn place.  The baristas--both near my work and my home--know me by name and my voice in the drive-thru.  Some may find that a bit crazy but I look at it as a reward for a long damn day about to begin and then on the way home as a reward for putting up with the shit I put up with.  It's my thing and crazy or not, something about the tiny coffee haven relaxes me. 

So I go inside last night because the drive-thru is packed with beach goers and I'm like no friggin way am I sitting there for fifteen minutes. Plus I know my friend Adam is working and if I go inside, he'll give me a free cookie. :) Night+Cookie=Sparkles. Once inside, I notice the line.  The big ass, almost out the door line and i groan but I'm already out of the car, so I decide to stay.  This is where the real plot begins. Lol. But no seriously, have you ever had that moment that you knew you were meant to be there? At that exact time, at that exact place?  Divine intervention people. It's real.

So not to sound like a crazy person but if I wasn't a believer in fate before, I am now.  Three or four people get their coffee in the next round of line moving and it's then that I notice the couple in front of me.  The two boys (early twenties), one smiles at the other and then he kind of rub shoulders with the blonde guy and I'm curious but not a creeper so I kind of glance away.  When I look back, the boy on the left looks really upset but is *trying* not to show it.  His now obvious boyfriend puts an arm around his shoulders and looks to my far left. 

Then I notice the source of upset. Two guys and a girl are at a table glaring at the boys.  I should also tell you that I live in the most tight ass conservative town you've ever seen.  We have a church on almost every other block, way too many republicans, and a pre-dominately Dutch population. Or rather people who think they're Dutch but just come off as a bunch of prissy moronic snobs. (My dad's parents are from the Netherlands and they laugh at what our town considers 'heritage' when they come to visit.   Let's put it that way.)

Now let's imagine the town's view on gay rights and acceptable behavior as far as any lgbt individual is concerned shall we?  It's down right disgusting the way they treat them.  Now I happen to know the girl that's with them and know she's just a straight bitch but the two boys are the ones that stand up and make for the trash station which happens to be right behind the gay couple.  That's when things get real.  I've hung around with enough boys (3 brothers?) to know the look that goes through a guy's eyes when he's about to do something he knows he's not supposed to but enjoys doing anyways.  They both had it and I stepped in front of the gay couple without saying anything. 

I turned and acted like I was waiting for my turn but didn't miss the confused looks from both parties.  The dumb ass twins stopped and the one smirked as I turned and smiled at him sweetly.  He pulled the lid off his sorta empty coffee cup and was about to throw it over the guys and into the trash--trying to dump the remaining contents on the guys from above.  This was when I cleared my throat and made a show of putting out my hand and telling them I would throw it out for them.  Everybody watched because I said it *really* loud. :D The guys looked at each other and then handed over the cup after seeing that Adam and the entire staff was watching as well. 

They mumbled 'slut' and 'bitch' on the way out but I blew them a kiss and continued to wait in line.  The girl rolled her eyes and nudged me as she passed.  I kissed her boyfriend once in uh...high school....get over it wench.  Anyway, everything was normal again--the crappy indie music was going, grinders were making me grit my teeth, people on laptops...blah blah.  Then the boyfriend pulled the upset guy close and kissed him on the lips.  A few people noticed and a few people moved away.  Above the fact that two guys kissing is like a major turn on,  that they did it out in the open in this town took some balls.  It was like a true fuck you to anyone that was watching and I kind of wanted to fist pump but then I would have truly looked like a drunken crazy bitch, so I didn't.

I smiled when they glanced at me with a nod.  I knew they knew what I did but I wasn't out to make a scene over it.  I would just hope someone would do it for me if the roles had been reversed so I just nodded back.  When they got to the counter the boy on the right stepped aside and told me to go ahead with a smile.  The boy on the left nodded but still looked upset and backed up.  Adam of course was his bouncy self and hugged me over the counter and gave me a kiss on the cheek.  And a cookie! Wahhhh sooooo good. Anywho, we chatted for a minute and I got an idea.  The boys had their backs turned and were in some serious conversation, so I slipped Adam an extra fifteen and said to pay for their drinks.

He gave me the cute pouty face and hugged me again before we talked about having dinner at my house on Friday (today).  I waved and got my drink as he greeted the gay couple.  Of course he knew them. Lol. Adam knows everybody. Smh with a grin. I left and that was that.  I didn't stick around to see what they thought, I just figured it was a bit of goodwill and I've done it before.  No biggie.  Boy was I soooo wrong. 

So fast forward to tonight.  I got out of work a little early today and went home to start up the grill with my bf and a few of our close friends.  D and his brothers and their people are there and the party is hoppin a bit (it's actually still going :D, I just had to get this out quick).  Then Adam shows up and pulls me inside away from the crowd.  There in my living room is the couple from Starbucks.  I'm like whoa! Uh ok.  So I awkwardly say hello because I'm kind of floored and they say hey back.  Then Tim (Mr. Upset) walked up to me and gave me a big hug.  Now I don't know this guy or his boyfriend and he's hugging me like we're family. He doesn't let go for a minute but when he does he's got tears all over his face and when someone cries, it makes me wanna cry.  ♥♥

Tim, with the help of Ryan--his boyfriend--explained that right before they went to Starbucks yesterday, Tim had come out to his parents.  To make a long story short, they made it clear he was no longer allowed in their home.  Making matters worse, the boys at Starbucks knew the couple from the college they attend and are known for their dislike of gays and black people. Which makes sense if they hang out with that girl (her dad is a member of the militia=fucked up). So the day had been rough times ten and Tim told me that it took everything he had not to burst into tears at Starbucks when I stepped in front of them and took that cup away.   After I left and they had found out about me paying for their drinks, they insisted on thanking me personally, so Adam brought them along.

Ryan was the one who mentioned the fate aspect of it all.  He said it could not have played out better if he had imagined it.  While they had been in line, they were talking about the good in some people and that not everyone would turn their back on them because they were gay.  Then I came in when Tim was ten seconds from losing it and proved Ryan's point.  That's when I broke down because hell, who wouldn't?  We talked about a lot of personal issues that my own family faced and how lucky Tim was to have Ryan and a few other things but by the end of their visit?  I know Tim felt better.  We're getting together next weekend and I have a feeling they'll be part of our little group in no time.  They're seriously two of the sweetest people I've ever met.

The moral of all this to me?  You have no idea the effect you have on people.  Whether it's your words, your actions, or the look in your eyes, someone is watching and listening to you.  What do you want them to see?  What do you want them to hear?  Don't be afraid of being the minority in any situation.  If you feel the way you feel, don't be shy.  Speak up.

Sweet dreams everyone ~XOXOXO NIGHTTEMPEST

45 comments:

  1. Wonderful opportunity to live by example. There's no doubt what your standards are and those 3 jerks got shown their place. Well done! :o)

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    1. My parents brought me up right. You can thank them. <3 Thanks Pat!

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  2. Makes you realize that some people are still ignorant around their surroundings and if they don't know about them, they hate them. I don't understand why we are like this as human beings and as living creatures. Man... sometimes I just wish I could throw really cold water all over them and make them realize that being a different race or having a different preference for a mate is totally OKAY!! God NEVER taught us how to HATE, God taught us how to LOVE!!

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    1. You can come over and we can have a water gun fight with the conservative zombie biggots. I'm game. We can spread God's love with every freezing cold burst of truth. :D ~Night♥ Thanks!

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  3. Wow. That is a truly amazing story. "Right place, right time" barely even touches this one. It absolutely was meant to be that you were there. And that you were able to read the situation and react to it in such a calm and confident manner.

    Its sad that there are still so many people in this world who behave that way. People who are ignorant and afraid and hurtful. People who believe that being different is a bad thing. People who are so uptight you can practically see the stick lodged firmly in their ass.

    I've always been that person who goes the extra mile to be polite or nice to the people I encounter. Case and point... When I taught in Tennessee, I applied this every single day... because you never know what a child's life is like outside of school. You may be the only adult who treats them kindly, says you're proud of them, or gives them a hug. And the same thing applies in the rest of life too. You never know what another person is going through or dealing with, and you might be the only person who makes them smile all day. You might be that one person who redeems ALL of humanity in their eyes.

    It took amazing strength for those boys to be so bold in a town which is apparently stuck in the WRONG fucking decade. Kudos to them for not hiding. I tip my hat to you as well, for doing what most people wouldn't.... standing up for what's right. Many people would have just ignored the situation and turned a blind eye to what was happening.

    Thank you for sharing such an inspiring tale... and for reminding us all how one little (or not-so-little) gesture can change someone's life.

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    1. Thanks Naughty! Yeah this place is ridiculous. Here's some specs for you: I graduated with a class of over 500 (2 black kids, 3 asian, and 2 openly gay kids), last year they finally made it legal to purchase alcohol inside the city limits but protested the opening of a liquor store being built because that led to 'inner demons'. I swear to you this is real.

      We still can't purchase liquor on Sundays because that is the Lord's day and 90% of businesses close down. Except for the diners and such where they can shove their fat faces full of caloric greed. The parents are like their parents and breed tiny monsters of hate who grow up to be just like them. It's like Mayberry on crack. SMH.

      Thanks for sharing with me though and thanks for the encouragement. It means a lot! ~Night ♥

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  4. I'm so glad you were there for the lads against those 3 homophobic assholes. Poor Tim! I don't understand families who disown their kids like that :( Love is love.

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    1. I don't understand them either but I do know that for every parent that lets their child go like that, there is someone more than willing to take them off their hands and love them the way they were meant to be loved. Those parents can live with the pain and regret of their own actions. My door is always open, so fuck em. Thanks Yan! <3

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  5. You're slightly amazing, miss night.
    I know if I were in the same situation, it would be an absolute blessing to have a complete stranger stick up for me like that. Hopefully it will lead to a great friendship, you have a heart of gold. (;
    You now have my approval.
    *Brandon's Approval.*
    -Seahaven. c:

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    1. Haha thanks honey! I'll take the approval. ♥ Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Kindergarten basics everyone. Use them!

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  6. Thanks Night for sharing your experience with us. Not everyone would have done what you have done. I'm glad that there is still good in people to go out of there way to stop the perpetual cycle of hatered.

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    1. *high five* Warriors against hate! I like that. Thanks Shantelly. ♥

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  7. You're my hero.

    I read your stories all the time, but I must admit this is my first time commenting (please forgive me for that, I'm still getting used to this Bloggie thingy).

    Thanks for having the balls to step up for someone. My friend was in a similar situation after coming out to his parents and days later when being hassled by a group of thugs someone stood up for him. What she didn't know was that night he was planning to kill himself. It really does just take one act of kindness to change something. Thanks for sharing your story :)

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    1. Awww, I'm glad she was there for him. This whole experience made me realize a lot of things but most importantly...you seriously never know what one little thing will do for someone. That's awesome honey and welcome to the club. Comment anytime! I love to hear from you guys. :D Thanks! ♥ *hug*

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  8. Night, You're freaking COOL! *Two Thumbs Up*

    Good Luck and lota of love to Ryan and Tim^_^ Its a little tough right now, but pls dont give up! Rainbow=PURE undiluted happiness at end would be all worth it:)

    To each other, the two of you are perfect as it is. Dont let anybody tell you different.

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    1. *Blush* Shermin, you're a charmer but in all seriouness, thank you for your comment. I will send the love on over to them. Muah, you're the best Shermin! ♥

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  9. Wow Ms Night, what an experience... Thanks for standing up for the pair... Have to agree you that small act speaks thousands words...

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    1. Thanks Anon. You guys are writing such amazing comments. I need a tissue. *hug*♥

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  10. I had a similar experience a few months back on campus. I was sitting in the library on Valentines Day doing last minute cramming for a test. Now I'm not a big fan of Valentines Day but I appreciate that people make a big deal out of it and think that's pretty sweet. So I notice this cute guy sitting at a computer opposite mine, and he's alone and looking kinda stressed out. I assumed he was there for the same reason as me and he's stressing over a test or something. After about an hour or so, this guy comes up behind him and kisses his neck and he's holding a card in a pink envelope and a gift box. They're not making a big scene or anything and we're tucked away in a corner of the top floor anyway, but I've noticed and I couldn't get over how wonderful and sweet the moment was. the guy sits down next to his bf, hold his hand and offers him help with his work.

    If I had noticed the bottle flying through the air, I'd have tried to stop it. But it came from someone behind me, and I only see it as it just missses the couple and hits the next computer before rolling on the floor. It's accompanied with an insult that's spoken quietly, but loud enough to reach their ears. It's safe to say that I'm furious, but the guy on the computer looks close to tears. The bf who just turned up looks ready to fight someone but stays seated and puts his arm around the back of his bf's chair. He's clearly more concerned about him, and too right. So I get up and pick up the bottle. There are recycling bins all over campus, so I asked the small crowd around me who had thrown it. A group of guys - older than me, about 23 or 24 - start chuckling amongst themselves. I tell them that the nearest recycle bin is downstairs, but I'd be happy to take it there for them (I'm worried they'll throw the bottle again so no way am I giving it back). And tell them that they really are old enough to know better. The look they gave me was priceless. Within five minutes, the guys had left and I even heard a couple of muttered apologies.

    I didn't say anything else and went back to my history revision, but I do see the couple around campus a lot and they seem to remember me and they always give me a nod and a smile. You are totally right in what you say Night. Things you do really can make a difference. My dad raised me to stand up for what I believe in and do the right thing. People should not have to deal with some of the crap that's dished out to them. It's just really upsetting to me that their are people like those guys in the library and that group in Starbucks who act like that. I just cannot understand their mentality at all.

    Thanks for sharing your experience with us, Night. You rock. And thanks for standing up for what's right.

    Lauren <3

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    1. I don't understand any of it really. I don't understand where a hate so deep comes from that you feel the the need to chuck a bottle or a cup at someone to humiliate them. It's sick, it's wrong, and it makes them look foolish.

      I'm happy that you would also stand up for what's right and show those assholes just how dumb they are. Fighting them isn't worth it but when you get the chance to put them in their place and still come out feeling good about it...then it's worth it. We just fight the battle in a different kind of way. Thanks so much Lauren. You're awesome! Seriously. *hug* ♥

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  11. I admire your ability to read the situation for what it was. I am sometimes so lost in thought in those situations, that it may have gone right past my radar. I will never understand how some people can be so cruel. That goes for the offending kids as well as the parents. What can be so wrong about loving someone. You have a heart of gold.

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    1. Reading people comes from both my job and the fact that I am a notorious people watcher. I like catching the subtle looks or touches people give each other because it helps me write.

      Thanks so much Cam and I have no idea why you would refuse to love your child for loving someone. It's one of those things that I will never fully grasp no matter how many half-assed excuses they give. *hug* ♥

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  12. W2G !! You handled that better than I would have. My version would've involved curse words. I've never been afraid to speak my mind. Stranger or not. I'm known for my temper and severe ass ripping capabilities. I only play dumb or polite if it gets me what I want, lmbo. I'm glad you took the " high road". My youngest brother had to change high schools to get away from people like that. Now he's an out, proud, and vocal part of our local LGBT.

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    1. Oh I have a temper alright. Hahaha. I just figure in situations like this where the instigators are already using hate as a method of fighting, it's best to kill them with kindness. I found no need to lower myself to their level or humilate those boys who were the victims. In this situation, playing dumb was the right thing to do. :D Thanks so much Jade and high five to your lil bro. Woot!

      *Hug*♥

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  13. When I first read your story this morning my first thought was that with your actions the world has just become a little bit kinder. Its not always easy to step up and take on the bully but you did, you have set a good example for everyone to follow. I strongly believe in fate and your connection to Tim and Ryan is more than you think. Whether you were there to show Tim that not all in this world share the opinion of that threesome, to support Ryan in the love that he shares with Tim or perhaps just to show someone else in that coffee shop the strength of someone who acts with conviction and that its OK to take a stand and speak up for what you believe in. I agree strongly in your parting words and they are qualities and actions I try to live by each day as well as trying to instill their wisdom onto my son and as she gets older my daughter. Your actions made me reflect on my own family and how we become the people that we are. My mother is by far the person I look up to the most in the world and as a single mother she had the most impact on me growing up. If she had been in your place that guy would most likely have been walking out with boxed ears and his own coffee stained shirt, with the words “you should be ashamed of yourself” rattling around in his little pea brain. (I come from a loud, Irish family). She would have fawned over the boys, told them to hold their heads up high and that love is to precious a thing to let anyone try and take away from them. If she had any idea of what Tim had just gone through with his parents she would have invited them home with her and into our family. If his mother was idiot enough to let him go then she would take him in and show him what a mother really is. I love my mom. You remind me of her. My father on the other hand is the complete opposite, I have not seen him in over a decade and he has never seen or met his grandchildren. If I have my way he never will, there is no way that I want my children to be around his bigotry and ignorance. I am truly saddened that the boys had to experience such hatred however it brought you into their lives so perhaps every cloud does have a silver lining. Please remind them that not everyone in the world is like this, to stay strong, to bask in their love and don't let anyone take it away.
    Pam

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    1. Aww Pam what a beautiful comment! I'm so happy that you had such a wonderful role model to pass onto you the value of tolerance and acceptance. It makes me happy to know that you will also pass that along to your children. These days it's hard to find people who will truly stand up for each other but when you do it makes living on this earth so much more worth it. I'm sorry that your father missed out on how amazing you are and your children. No child should ever have to experience that but its happening more and more these days. Tim is having to go through that right now with both parents but I plan to print out all these comments and give them to him and Ryan. Just to further my point that not everyone is out to get them--that there is love in the world. Thanks so much Pam. *hug* ♥

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  14. This is such a touching story, Night. You should feel proud of what you did and think about how those boys feel. Feeling like they're completely alone against the world except for each other. Poor Tim was probably thinking that he had made the wrong choice to come out and was wishing things could go back to the way they were. Or he was thinking that he had made the right choice, but he would always be alone other than wonderful Ryan. Then you came along and he realized that not all of the world is such a terrible place...just most of it ;)

    I wish these two boys the best and I hope you send them our wishes. I'm looking at all the comments before mine and they're almost all several paragraphs long, that's because there's no short response to a story like this. Who could ever respond with something like 'Good job' because it's more than that. I truly believe that our community is the best in the world. We're all very loving and accepting and we're honest about it. We're the next generation, just as the generation before us who cheered for black equality was marking the way to this generation. I'm sure that, maybe not in our lifetime, but soon the world will change, and we'll be the ones people remember. To me, what you did at Starbucks was nothing short of what Rosa Parks did when she refused to sit on the back of the bus. The only difference is that she was doing it in part for herself, and you were doing it for two strangers who were to scared and upset to do it themselves. Which, if anything, makes that even better.

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    1. Wow G that means a lot! *hug* I'm just so tired of seeing the gay bashing around here that I can't help but say something when I see it. Not to sound all beauty pageant princess or anything but I'm not out for rewards or pats on the back, I just do it because no one else is and it's sick to watch.

      OH and I totally agree that our community is one of the sweetest and most loving crews around. They would give you the shirt off their back to see you smile and I am more than proud to throw myself in that ring with the rest of my fellow warriors. Thanks G. You're awesome. ♥

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  15. Wow! What a great story! I read your blog all of the time but have never commented; I just had to let you and Ryan and Tim know how proud of you all I am. Peoples' ignorance is so shocking to me. What type of person turns against someone else because of who they love? Thank you for sharing your love and compassion!
    Liz

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    1. Hi Liz! Thanks for joining us and feel free to comment any time. ♥ I have no idea why people think the way they do but one day I hope they smarten up. Love is love. Get over it. :) *hug*

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  16. Wow miss Night, thank you for sharing your beautiful heart with us. It's honestly people like you who truly make the world a better place. Any act of kindess, no matter how small, can never go wasted. It gives hope and shines abundant light in the dark.

    I'm sure that you've made a world of difference in Tim and Ryan's lives and I hope the strength and love you showed them, will help carry them through the good and bad.

    I recently came out to my family and friends and every kind word of encouragement and love I've gotten from those who truly care about me, has helped me get through the bad days and endure the snide comments. Because the small mindedness of ignorant people should never overpower your happiness.

    So with that, I thank you again and even though I've been rationing out my glitter (well trying to anyways) but this much amazingness deserves piles of it!! **throws copious amounts of rainbow coloured glitter on Night**

    Xoxo
    R

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    1. Cheers to you for telling your family! That's awesome Reagan. I'm glad you have some support on your side. ♥ It does get better, we just have help out a little bit to make that happen. Thank you so much for the comment and sharing with us. *hugs* This glitter is acceptable. :D

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  17. Wow. I can honestly say this made me cry. Humans as a whole feel that you have to mind your own buisness, and where this can be true, we all need to remember "it takes a whole village". How can we all expect to grow and prosper when no one is willing to step up. This story is amazing, it shows exactly that. You are amazing and I completely believe that this was fate. These boys needed someone and I don't believe it was a coincidence that that person was you. Just... wow.

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    1. I don't expect this village to be showin the love anytime soon but that's why it's important for those of us who do care to show it. These boys will be okay once they come into their own but they just need a but of support. Thanks so much toxic, I agree with you one hundred percent. *hug* ♥

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  18. Wow. I actually really feel like crying that is just the most touching and sweetest story. You are an incredible person just to do that little bit of good (which is really not that little - much more than most people would do). You've really made me think and I hope that I can do some good just as you've done.

    Best wishes to Ryan and Tim! I sincerely hope everything goes well for them :)

    This is a comment on your writing (even of just that tidbit above). You have an amazing ability to immediately draw the reader in. I feel completely emotionally connected to you, Ryan and Tim. Thank you for such a perfect reminder of good in a world full of suck.

    -Gill

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    1. A world full of suck is right but its the small things that make up for that right? I swear to you I still after two days want to tear up remembering those boys just standing in my living room. That was probably one of the coolest moments of my life. Pay it forward, it's so worth it. I'll pass along your wishes and thanks so much Gill for the compliments. I really appreciate them. Stay sweet. *hug* ♥

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  20. Oh God, that made me tear up a bit. You are so awesome, the world seriously needs more people like you. I can't believe there are still such close minded people it's like "We are in 2012 wake up!!!" but hopefully there will come a time when no one will be judged based on their preferences, their religion, where they come from, etc.
    Anyways I hope everything works out just fine for Tim and Ryan, lots of hugs and kisses for them and for you

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    1. Without the overpriced houses and flashy cars, you'd think this place was sucked back in the sixties. I agree with the wake up call. I have a feeling things will change once the next generation steps up as adults. They're a little feisty and I love it. Can't wait. Thanks so much Sam and kudos on your peaceful views. We need more people like you. :) *hugs* You're awesome. ♥

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  21. You truly are a good person Night! That was something wonderful that truly had an impact in those boys' lives. Please give them both big hugs for me next time you see them! Then tell them to give YOU one from me as well!
    Love ya, scottie

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    1. AWw Scot!!! Thanks so much and I will. Lots of hugs for everyone. Love back at you. *hug* ♥

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  22. Night-
    Thank you for doing the right thing. I wish more people would have the guts to stand up for whats right. I guess bigots and a-holes can only build themselves up by tearing others down. Your town sounds like a hell hole, perhaps with time and more wonderful soul like you it can get better. I don't understand parents turning their back on a child because they are gay love should never have stipulations attached.
    You are an amazing person you make me love you without knowing, and you are so talented as a writer. My all that is good find its way to your door.
    Ron

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    1. AWw I love you back Ron. Yeah this town is a shit hole. If it wasn't so pretty, I wouldn't stick around. These people are from another planet I swear and hell, I don't even fit in but they claim me because I have a huge family within their fold. All of who have no problem with being gay whatsoever. Ahhhh I don't get it. It's fucked up. But thank you and send any strays my way. I will find them loving homes. :D ♥

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  23. I know am late with commenting but I was visiting my bro for a few days,lol
    Night, your experience was really heart-warming to read.
    Its a remainder to all of us that there is still good out there, we just have to do our part to make it real.
    :)

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  24. WOW! I'm actually crying right now :') YOU ARE AMAZING!!! I can only hope that if I were put in that situation I would do the same thing...

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