Sunday, November 11, 2012

Updates and a Good Laugh

Hey! I've got a  few quick updates followed by a little giggle story today. Here's what's happening:

I'm working on Cade for Nano. I've got around 30,000 words so far and I still have almost 40-50 K to go. I think you're all going to be pleased with the new content and giggles I've thrown in. You know me and my snark. I have to have it. For those of you that were asking, NaNo is National Novel Writing Month. If you're on there, hit me up and we can be writing buddies.This is my NaNo link.  Still looking for an experienced editor and another serious Beta. *nudge nudge* If you're interested in either of those spots, drop me an email at Thanks!

My Telija....groans....give me until the first week of December. Cade comes first right now or else I'll lose my mind. I promise you will get your ending. :D

In case you were unaware, Hugh and Shepard from the Halloween werewolf tale will be returning as my holiday boys for Thanksgiving. Everyone seemed to like them and I happen to love Hugh. *laughs* He's so cynical. That will post Thanksgiving weekend as A Turkey Travesty.

Heart for Trade. Okay, I know the postings are short. BUT that is all I can handle on a weekly basis with my other projects going on at the same time. Thanks for being understanding.

Yes, it's true. In December we will be returning  to Shermin Heights for another dose of sexy country boy. This will be the last installment. Unless I feel the need arise... lol. :D Which as you know is always a possibility.

Onto the funny story:

Most of you know that I work in a salon, but if you didn't, you know now. As part of my daily life, I listen to hours and hours of client stories, let them vent, listen to crap about their ex husbands or boyfriends, yata yata... But at least once a day I get a client who makes me laugh.  They make up for the other 70% that make me want to jab a nail file in my eye.

So I have this one client who's a doctor at one of the larger hospitals in the area. Like me, she's seen everything and we like to swap stories--leaving out names of course. But yesterday she told me this story that cracked me up pretty bad. 

She was in the middle of her medical training in Louisiana and was part of a rotation of doctors that tended to this small clinic in this even smaller town. Population 400. They didn't have a full time doctor or an ambulance for that matter, so when an emergency arose, patients were either brought into the clinic if open or to the closest hospital by the sheriff. 

It happened to be her two week shift at the clinic when the sheriff pulled up with this couple. Mid thirties, both them were bleeding--her on her head and him on his groin. They were covering the wounds with dishtowels and both looked a hot mess. 

The sheriff had no idea what to do, so he waited outside until the doctor, my client, could have a look at them. They both proceeded to tell her this story:

That night was their anniversary and as all the locals did on a special occasion, they went to dinner at the only restaurant in town, the chicken shack. I shit you not this is what she told me. Imagine this greasy spoon joint in the middle of nowhere. Following? Okay. So the couple went out to dinner and as the wife had just had a hysterectomy, they were disappointed that they couldn't have sex to celebrate. Over dinner the husband made mention that as an anniversary gift, the wife could give him a blowjob.

Over dinner. At the chicken shack. lol She proceeds to have a few glasses of wine. Which they serve at the... chicken shack. And which she is also not supposed to have due to a condition she takes meds for. Anyway, things come to a point where they're both a little buzzed, still talking about this anniversary gift, and when the place clears out a little, she slips under the table to give him his gift. In the middle of the... chicken shack.

Her condition, as it turns out, is that she is victim to sporadic seizures. So add a little wine, which my doctor client tells me can induce or welcome on a seizure and things are not looking good. The lady has a seizure while her mouth is full and bites down on his dick. He in turn freaks out and starts stabbing her in the head to get her off. All while sitting in the middle of the... chicken shack.

The cook calls the sheriff and the husband manages to get the wife off but not before he starts to bleed everywhere. So they go to the clinic and the doc checks them out. She's fine. The husband only managed to break the skin with the fork, but the doc says that she will need stitches. The husband on the other hand is fully erect, bleeding, and the head of his penis is bent. The doc orders a visit to the ER.

Off they go. About an hour later, the doc receives a call from a frantic Xray technician saying that the man is staging an all out attack against the tech, the doctor and the nurses. He doesn't want anyone near his junk, afraid they will have to cut it off.  He demands to speak to his doc on the phone, my client. The Xray tech hopes that while he is on the phone they can sedate him.

The husband takes the bait and the doctor coaxes him a bit while he is stuck with a needle while the wife is screaming in the background.

With only a fracture to his manhood and a mandatory 8 week hiatus from any sexual activity, the husband was fine. The chicken shack even sent them dinner to the hospital. How nice of them.

The best part of this story was when my client turns to me and says: I don't think they'll be exchanging anniversary gifts for quite some time.

Sometimes I love my job. lol Hope you had a good laugh. :)

Until tomorrow,



  1. Oh my god! That was hilarious! I have a doctor friend who's told me some hilarious stories he's seen in the A&E (British version of the ER). Sometimes injuries ARE funny.

  2. That is funny! Started laughing while drinking my breakfast smoothie. Not funny! Choked and sprayed all over the table!

    They were lucky to come out of it with just minor damage (although the mr. probably wouldn't agree).

    They're either really gonna love chicken or hate it! Would depend on their sense of humor I guess.
    Maybe there will be more fun times in the 'ole chicken shack since now *he's* out of commission...

    That scene at the hospital was a riot. I've been xrayed enough to understand panic!!

    Anyway thanks for the update, Night. Wrote some comments on I&K but lost them to cyberspace. Don't know if that is a cosmic comment on my wrting or I'm just being told to go use a computer like a rational human...sigh...

    Anyway, as always you made my day LOL.

    Luv ya Starnite

  3. Thank you i needed that as my team messing the hell up.


  4. You gotta love a penis fracture. Poor guy, but they so deserve it for being that stupid- especially the wife with taking meds and drinking.

  5. LMFAO! WHAT A CLIENT! hahahahaha nice one and thanks for sharing!

  6. Oh dear God that's funny!! You can't even pretend that it didn't happen. Fiction doesn't write this well. LMAO!!!!!

  7. Lol! That's a great one. My mom is a retired hair dresser and I really miss those days when she would get home from work with some funny ass stories. But I think my dad has her beat. He is a retired radiologist so yah know he had to read all the xray films for the department. So his stories included having to read films where people had interesting things shoved up their asses like dildos, phallic shaped veggies, bottles, the list goes on. But the best one outta all of his stories is the guy who came in with a remote control up his butt. When the er doc askex how it happened, the guy said he just sat down on it when he sat on his couch. Ha! No one would believe him and they told the patient as much but he held firm on his story. My dad said the funniest part was getting to see the circuitry of the remote through the xray.

    Well that's my.little tidbit of funny. I really miss our family dinners where we got to hear about my parents client/patient stories. I think that might be why I am so hooked on your writing. I love reading stories that make me laugh my ass off and yours does. Plus my favorite part of your writing is the snarky/smart ass dialogue/inner dialogue the characters have with each other and their thoughts. It's the best. Have a good week girl, goid luck with "Cade" again. Can't wait to read it. I swear I reread the original version at least once a week. So I know if I'm in love with the original version, I'm gonna flip when I read the new one.

    Katie []

  8. Funny story. I'm so glad you're bringing back Hugh and Shepard. They are a great couple.

  9. I made the mistake of reading the anniversary story here at work. I had tears in my eyes as I struggled not to howl out loud. Just the image of him stabbing her in the head with a fork ... *snort* The man will probably never allow another mouth near his penis ever again. -- Deirdre

    1. At the ... Chicken Shack. *snicker*. -- D