Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Heart for Trade: Week 10

Hey everyone. I wanted to say thank you for all the wonderful comments on the post from last night. You guys are amazing, wonderful, and truly supportive of what I do. For that, I cannot thank you enough. It's true, writing really is a form of therapy for me, and I put a lot of emotion behind my words. I'm glad to know you feel every letter, even if they aren't grammatically sound sometimes. ;)
I'm going to be diving back into my Cade project this week, and I felt it was better to go ahead and post this now. I'm sure none of you have any complaints about that. Just remember this is going up in place of my usual Sunday post. I have no idea how much time I'll have to post something, but I'll try, even if it isn't a story. Videos, music, short blurbs on life. We'll see. But again, thank you all so much. You have no idea how much I treasure each and every one of you. Love you all.


Fully aware of the ramifications of his next move, Benny took some time to study Jarum. In the heated passion of their kiss, the quick journey to the bedroom, and the overwhelming sense of urgency they had both given over to, it only seemed right to think things through. Jarum was offering him something that he couldn’t take back. It seemed slightly ridiculous to even ponder whether or not to have sex, but Benny couldn’t help but feel it was all too fast—that Jarum wasn’t emotionally ready for this.

Then again, silently studying Jarum’s naked body, it was a struggle to take into account the innocence that the man held. Long legs bent at the knee, opened in invitation made him crawl closer. His hands caressed over a boyish sprinkling of dark, curly hair that grew sparse as Benny neared the thighs. Jarum wasn’t particularly muscular, but he had a compact, lean body that hinted to his life topside. He was a hard worker. That much was apparent as what muscle he did have showed with every small move he made under Benny’s hands.

His hips were a little bony, carving hallows down to his groin with the most beautiful line of muscle. The hair that trailed under Benny’s fingers grew thicker as he neared the groin. Jarum’s breathing grew sharper. A scar around four inches long made Benny frown. Angled above Jarum’s dark patch of hair, an angry white line made Benny looked up.

“How did you get this?”

Jarum closed his eyes, gathering himself before he could speak. His lashes fluttered open again, and he looked at Benny. “Ryan and I were jumped on our way back from a village trade a few years ago. We’d had an amazing crop that year, and sold the last of it right before dark.  Ryan wanted to spend the night, said he had a feeling, but I didn’t listen to him. I wanted to show Bart what I haggled for. I was…”

“Proud?” Benny smiled, one side of his mouth turning up.

Jarum groaned as Benny settled his weight between his open legs. “Yes. I got more than we’d originally talked about. It was a great deal. Ryan was happy about it too, and he finally went along with the idea of leaving.” Jarum took Benny’s intimate gesture seriously, winding his fingers within coppery red locks, combing through them slowly. “We were almost home. Maybe another twenty minutes when they came out of the trees. They had to have seen us earlier in the morning. It was like they were waiting for us.”

Benny left a small kiss on Jarum’s chest. “How many?”

“Three, could have been more, but they didn’t come out. This wasn’t the first we’d been jumped, but these guys were different. Usually it’s just a pack of kids, hungry and angry, you know? But these guys were men. They were taking our trade and that was that. I would’ve let them have it too, but then the leader of their group started eyeing Ryan. He said some stuff that didn’t sit well and pulled out a knife, demanding that Ry … I don’t want to go there.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me.”

But Jarum continued. “I don’t know how I did it, or even remember most of it, but the next I thing I knew I was holding a board from the cart with nails sticking out of it. There was blood everywhere, and two of the men weren’t getting up. I knew I’d been stabbed, here.” Jarum pointed to the scar. “But it didn’t hurt at the time. All I knew was that the third man was trying to crawl away. Ryan was holding the guy’s knife, crying. He’s not a fighter. I mean, he will if he has to, but I’ve always been the one to take care of us. I couldn’t let him finish the third man off. So I did. We dragged their bodies into the trees and we never talked about it again.”

“Until now?”

“Yes,” Jarum whispered. “I’m not a murderer, Benny.”

“No. You were defending yourself and your friend. If you had left the last man alive, it was only a matter of time before he attacked someone else. You did the right thing.” Benny lifted up and kissed Jarum’s worry away. “I know you feel you have to prove yourself, be the man for Ryan, but you’re safe now, Jarum. You don’t have to fight anymore. You don’t have to fight me.”

Jarum frowned. “You were the one fighting me.”

Benny sighed, laying his forehead on Jarum’s chest. “I’m sorry. That came out wrong. What I meant was we don’t have to fight anymore. You and I are … well, we’re pretty similar. We’re each trying to defend our turf, so to speak, while not looking weak in the process. But I owe you an apology, Jarum. You did nothing wrong, and I lost my temper because I was trying to hide from you how I felt, and who I was.

“But I don’t want to hide from you anymore. I’m not saying I’m ready to go all out, but I’m saying we can give it a try. You don’t have to do this for me, to prove that you’re a real man. I only want you to give yourself to me because you want me,” he whispered in Jarum’s ear. “Because I’m the only person you can picture being inside of you. Because you can give over that part of yourself and not feel weak about it, only empowered because what you’re doing is special. Do you understand?”

Jarum nuzzled his face in Benny’s neck. He took the man’s hand and guided it between their bodies, wrapping it around his fully erect cock. “Do you?” He husked.

Breathing heavily against Jarum’s skin, Benny squeezed gently with his fist around the base of Jarum’s cock. The narrow base gave way to a thicker center, textured by what felt like pulsing veins against his palm. Drifting up, the shape narrowed again, a more tapered head that was slick with arousal greeted his thumb.

“Fuck,” Jarum hissed, lifting his hips, and throwing his head back.

“Relax,” Benny whispered. “Slow. We’re taking things slow.”


“You’re not ready yet.” Benny pressed a kiss to Jarum’s exposed neck. “I’m not ready yet.”

Flashing his eyes to Benny, Jarum gasped. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No. I did, and I have to make up for it.” Benny’s hand began to move faster. “When we’re both ready, both completely okay with this, then it’s time.”

“Benny,” Jarum pleaded, digging his toes into the bed.

“But that doesn’t mean I can’t give you pleasure. I owe you that much.”

“I don’t want you to owe me!” Jarum was flipped onto his knees, ass out, desperate for something he didn’t have a name for. “I just want … I don’t know!”

Benny ran a hand down the clean line of Jarum’s back. “When we have a name to call it, I’ll give it to you. Until then, just know I do care.”

“Benny, please. Please, God.” Jarum reached down to take hold of his cock while Benny reached off to the side of the bed. “What … what are you doing?”

“When I was just out of training, I started meeting with one of the older instructors in private.” Benny took out a small glass bottle filled with clear liquid. He held it as if it were the most precious thing in the world as he screwed the cap off and let droplets slide over his fingers. “He taught me how to fight in ways we never learned in basic. He taught me how to hunt, to survive topside if I needed to. And … he taught me a lot of things about my sexuality.”

The liquid touched Jarum’s backside and he shivered. Benny’s long fingers worked the wet concoction between Jarum’s cheeks, rubbing over his entrance. Back arched, Jarum mewled into the pillows before Benny continued. “He wasn’t open about his love for men, but he confided in me because we we’re pretty close. Like me, he was attracted to the strength of a man’s body, skinny or muscular, there was just something about a man that drew us both in. The aggression, the territorial persona, even the way they carried themselves aroused us more than a woman.”

His thumb pressed deep circles into the skin between Jarum’s balls and his entrance, causing the man below to moan deep in his throat. “He taught me things about a man’s body that I had no idea existed. Before I ever experienced him inside of me, he showed the wonders of self-pleasure—pleasure beyond stroking yourself every night, even beyond the pleasure of sex.”

“Benny, what is … fuck!” Jarum curled his arms underneath his head and gasped as a finger prodded against him. The pressure was a little painful, but it felt good as Benny’s thumb kept him distracted, rubbing him below.

“Jarum, take a deep breath, and relax your body.” Benny pulled his fingertip out to stroke Jarum’s cock a little. “That’s it,” he coached as the other man sank into the bed. “Feel good?”

“Yes,” Jarum groaned.

Leaning forward, Benny massaged Jarum’s back with a firm grip, kneading deep into the muscle until the body underneath him was still. Oil still on his fingers, the skin glowed against the light—Jarum’s body ready for more. “Do you want me to stop?”

Managing a slow shake of his head, Jarum closed his eyes again. “Lift up a little for me.” Benny pulled his hips up, leaving his upper body relaxed.

Another round of stroking, another dose of fingers pressing into that pleasurable target under his entrance, and Jarum was moaning through his barely open lips. “Higher,” he whispered, letting Benny hit just the right spot. His body jerked with the shocking sensation.

“Shh,” Benny hushed him back into place, letting go of the slick cock in his palm.

Again, he moistened his finger, and pushed inside of Jarum. It was tight, but not as tight as before. The small bit of rubbing had done the trick, relinquishing what doubts Jarum previously had. Swallowed up slowly, his finger moved against the slick flesh of his innocent charge. His fingertip moved up until he found the rounded tissue he was looking for.

Jarum’s mouth opened against the pillow, a moan so loud erupted from his throat it scared him. His body shook under Benny’s touch. Deep inside of him, those fingers prodded at an unknown treasure that had been unlocked, causing his legs to quake uncontrollably. Causing his body to light up like a bonfire. He was enraptured. He was opening himself to a whole new side. He was slowly becoming addicted to Benjamin Gardent.

Benny again found Jarum’s cock. Against his pale hand, the shade of the head was an angry red—swollen and thick, ready to reap the rewards of his touches. “Is that too hard?” Benny looked over to see Jarum’s eyes glazed, his mouth hanging open.

“More,” Jarum rasped.

The finger inside him rubbed slowly over the spot again and he shut his eyes tight, a little scared of the way Benny looked at him, like he was … beautiful. A complete contradiction to what he always wanted, to be needed and cared for, he was still terrified of actually having someone feel that way about him. People left all the time. It wasn’t good to be attached. This could be a one-time thing. Yet, somehow he knew Benny wasn’t like that.

“Look at me, Jarum. Show me how that feels.” He pushed another finger in next to the other. Dark eyes flashed open. The tight ring of muscle around his fingers fought against him. “Relax. It’s okay. Does it hurt too much?”

There was indeed a burning sensation that was hard not to notice, but it wasn’t the worst kind of pain Jarum had ever been through. Not by a long shot. As he relinquished the hold he had on Benny’s fingers, the sting ebbed, making it easier to continue the pleasure. He found himself pushing back, only to meet Benny’s open hand.

“I know. I know what you want, but let me do this for you. You just tell me when something bothers you, and I’ll keep going. Okay?”

Jarum nodded, unable to form a single word. His cock felt ready to explode. There was this strange pressure low in his body, different from any other time he had touched himself. That’s when he felt the slow release through his shaft. An ache in his balls relieved into Benny’s hand.

“That’s good, Jarum,” Benny praised. A milky-white pearl squeezed from the cock in his hand. “It’s okay. Let it happen.”

He kept rubbing the tissue inside of Jarum, feeling a small squeeze every time a dime sized drop of fluid warmed over his fingers. He knew what it was like, to be drained of every drop, to feel the relief of years of pent up need spent in the course of minutes. It was sensual, intimate, and far more expressive than the act of sex between two people. It took trust, and letting go of the control you had worked so hard to build. Jarum was giving into him. They were starting something here, something beautiful, and memorable between them. This wasn’t a quick go in the woods. This was real, and the proof of Jarum’s submission was in his hand.

He had been gentle with his motions for a while now. Testing Jarum, Benny was careful, but pushed harder against the raised tissue until Jarum rose onto his hands and knees. “Jarum?”

“Don’t stop.” His legs shook. His fingers gripped the covers.

The semen in Benny’s hand kept coming slowly, ropes of white dripping over his fingers as he tugged the man’s cock back, pulling harder.

“Fuck. Oh fuck. I’m gonna … I’m gonna,” his words rose in pitch, every syllable hard to get out. Benny increased the pressure, swirling deep circles inside of him, stroking his cock furiously until he exploded. Thick jets of semen hit Benny in the chest. Warm, musky, and almost as erotic as coming himself, Benny milked Jarum’s cock as if it were his own. He too was hard, but this wasn’t about him. This was all about Jarum, and he didn’t stop until every last drop had been leaked onto his body.

Jarum collapsed on the bed, soft, sticky hands smoothing over his body to quiet his shaking limbs. After a few minutes, his breathing eased. His eyes grew heavy. He felt Benny disappear from the bed, but he couldn’t move to protest his absence. Soon enough, the man appeared, bathing his skin with a warm cloth. The gentle rush of fabric over his body lulled him to another state of peace. He was completely satisfied, drained in a good way. He wanted to give in to the sleep reaching for him behind his eyes, but there was one last thing he needed.

Benny stripped down to his underwear, and grabbed a blanket from the chair nearby. Crawling up onto the bed next to Jarum seemed the most natural thing in the world. The other man snuggled up to his chest, draping an arm around his waist, sealing their bodies against one another while the blanket covered them both. Tilting his head, Jarum pushed with his toes, using up his last ounce of strength to press his lips to Benny’s.

To say thank you seemed childish. To say I love you was too much. Neither of them knew what to say. So instead, they shared a soft kiss to end the moment. As the clock blinked one fifteen, lunch out of the question, both men closed their eyes, tangled in each other’s arms.




  1. What a great chapter (both this and the last). I just wanted to say how much I appreciated the fact that you didn't drag out the issue with Benny and Jarum. The fact that Benny openly told him everything he was thinking, and that they are working towards building something... is amazing. Sometimes, its easy to let things go on... to drag out the drama of misunderstandings and unsaid feelings. But the fact that you had Benny put his pride and fear aside to tell Jarum how he felt, was a welcomed turn of events!

    It'll be interesting to see how Sam and Ryan react to their relationship, when they find out of course. I'm sure it's gonna be hard on each one of them.

    Thank you for posting again so soon... even though we'll have to wait a little longer (maybe) for the next installment.

    You're awesome, Night. Thank you for writing such beautiful stories.

  2. I'm bowing down to you now, you're amazing!! Just when i was ready to pull my hair out (because i didn't want the last chapter to end and didn't want to wait) POOF !!! Here it is! And it was great and i still have my hair! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

  3. Ohhhh Goody, Goody! An early Christmas present. ~does the happy dance~ 2 days straight of my new favorite story. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! Love you Night!

  4. Thank you for a chapter so soon. Love this story.

  5. This was such a wonderful surprise! And perfect, but that's a given.

  6. Oh Benny! And oh Night you know just what we need. Hope Cade is going well. Happy writing.

  7. Benny is so sweet. He's perfect for Jarum.
    Thank you for the early and awesome chapter even if I do end up next Sunday feeling like I'm missing something. The more of this story I read the more I love it.

  8. That was pretty sexy. I really appreciate how you mix it up when it comes to your character's sexual encounters. With Benny and ajarum it wasn't the same old blow job/rud and tug I read so many times in other stories. This scene was refreshing and something that really showed how the two men were giving in to each other. Sweet ending by the way... sealed with a kiss.

    Just like your writing is therapeutic for you, reading your writing is theraputic for me. It's a great escape that I happily welcome. I swear that because of all the love and personal experiences you put into your stories is what makes your writing so exceptional. It isn't all make believe where you have to concoct every conflict and scenario. Even though your characters are fictional they are damn real and that is why I fall in love with each and every one of them. Thanks again fir all that you do. I will keep my fingers crossed for you on the Cade front, but I know it will be amazing regardless. Much love.

    Katie [wondrgirl05@gmail.com]

  9. Thanks again Night.
    like Maxwell House Coffee your
    stories are good in every word.
    But you are still a tease.