My life is prone to craziness. Sometimes I sit back and ponder why insanity follows me and if there's something seriously wrong with me, but I've been assured many times I'm not alone. Does this give me comfort? No. Does this make me somewhat paranoid - the fact that these things will happen again? Yes. *Sigh* What I'm about to share with you happened yesterday afternoon and is in fact a true story. *cue twilight zone music*
So, I'm at work and everyone is cancelling their appointments for the day because we're about to get slammed with a blizzard, a lake effect blizzard. Basically when a weatherman declares a lake effect anything...you run and hide. As I'd already watched the news that morning, I asked my boyfriend to drive me to work. Yes, I have a big girl truck and I'm not afraid to use it, but I still get freaked out when there's going to be a combination of snow, ice, wind, no visibility, slush, people driving like demons, and every other car I pass is going to be in a ditch. My boyfriend doesn't mind me asking this of him. In fact, he likes it. Why? Because this ensures I won't come home a trembling mess, cursing like a sailor, and asking to pull out the Baileys.
Little did he know...driving me to work would make him the Captain of our afternoon rescue mission.
Anywho, I call him up and tell him he needs to come get me early and that our shop is closing up for the day. I wait for him at Starbucks, my daily haunt, and am happy to see him pull up in his truck. We're all snuggled in. NPR is going. The roads are getting dicey. And we make it about ten minutes from my work. (BTW I commute. So each way is about 40 minutes) We come across the bridge, which is about five lanes wide on each side, and are making our way down into a two lane main road when I see this little black thing dart into the road.
If you're like me, you get squicked out over the thought of hitting any little creature, whether it be a squirrel, a mouse....anything. I tell him to slow down and beg him not to hit it. This is what happened:
"What is that thing?" He leans closer to the windshield. "Someone's going to hit it. It's running down the middle of the road."
"Oh my God! Don't fucking hit it!"
"I can't control the other lane, baby. Chill out. I'll take it slow."
We hit the road next to the lake and the thing is still running down the middle of a busy road in near white out conditions. The driver next to us beeps his horn and we nod. We're all on the same page. A major intersection is coming up. I think the little creature will die. I can't watch. I'm near tears.
"I think it's a puppy." I turn to my boyfriend. "We can't let it die."
He grumbles then swerves as a car turning tries not to hit the puppy...still running down the middle of the road like he's going for Olympic gold. We're now almost two miles deep into our rescue mission.
He points to the dashboard. "Look up the non-emergency number for the police. This thing isn't about to turn off anytime soon and he's gonna to cause an accident."
I receive a snort. "They aren't going to arrest a puppy."
I call up the police department, thinking they're going to blow me off, and hang up. What I did not expect was the following...
"Are you currently still in the city?"
Me: "Yes, we're headed towards (blah blah)"
"Is the dog small and black, a Chihuahua?"
I raise a brow. "Now that you say that, I'm pretty sure it is."
"Good. We've been looking for this dog all day. He's caused three accidents and our officers haven't been able to locate him. We were starting to think he didn't exist."
My eyes go wide. Three accidents? This cute little puppy? No way.
"What I need you to do is veer into the center of the road and put your emergency lights on." I tell boyfriend. He looks at me like I'm batshit, but does it anyway. "If the dog turns off onto another road, would you be able to follow it until police can arrive?"
Is she serious? Are we going dog hunting right now?
I give her more information as to where we are, a one way street. Thank God. Although, I'm not enjoying the constant honks from behind.
About two minutes later, I'm informed an officer has parked his car across the next intersection and is waiting for us. For us? What the hell are we going to do about it? Then suddenly, it's all very clear to me. The dog now has his own blockade. He's a fugitive on the run. Oh no.
We approach the intersection. Two cops are waiting in the cold, ready to snatch this dog up. But the dog isn't going down that easily. He runs... under the cop car and continues on his merry way. Still on the phone with the department, I point to the turn lane and direct my boyfriend around the cop car. The chase continues. We make another plan with the lady on the phone, setting up another blockade with the cops and this time, animal control.
As we approach the final intersection before the highway, there are three cop cars and a truck waiting for us. I watch as a giant net swoops down and bounces the dog into the air like a little black ball. When the animal control dude picks the puppy up, he's no bigger than his palm and shaking so hard, I can see him from our truck. The good news is the dog does have an owner, who's probably in deep shit right about now, and Jack (the dog) was sent home safe and sound.
What did I learn from this? I have more reasons to the hate snow. I will never own a Chihuahua. I will never work for animal control, and now every time I look at a net, I'll see that poor puppy flung into the air like a tiny, furry potato.
I just had to share this story, because I think I'm still in shock over it. And by the way, when we got home...we totally broke out the Baileys.