Friday, June 13, 2014

Flash Fiction Friday! A Nanny Tale: Part 8


Hey everyone!

So I know I’ve been quiet for a bit, but there’s a good reason behind that.  I’m moving.  Ugh.  I try to see the positive in packing up everything into boxes and taking trips back and forth to the new place, but damn I absolutely hate moving.  The new place is like a little dream, but seriously, I still hate moving.

I would like to clarify that by no means does this mean me and Dan are on the outs or anything.  Because I knew that question would come up eventually.  Nope.  We’re just at that point we knew would come where we both have new things to look forward to.  He’s got a really good man that is whisking him off to another city and I finally got the condo I’ve been salivating over for almost two years now.

Although I will miss him terribly and he’s made it clear I will be using the guest room for their frequent visitations, it is time for my own place.  Trust me, living with two boys who are into each seems hot, but they are still men and it’s like having two brothers nagging on you constantly for food or to find their runaway shoes.  And I will not miss gym clothes laundry day.  Sorry, D.  Love you.

But I will miss James Dean in the bathroom.  I lost him in a custody dispute.  Pretty sad about that.

Anyway, while we rent out our house to some friends and become landlords again, I will be moving about 45 minutes away to a condo on the lake.  Oh yes, I said waterfront property.  Okay, it’s not like millionaire glamorous, but it’s cool and in the historic district and I had the ultimate hookup from one of my clients.  So I’m feeling blessed right about now because without this person’s help there is no way on this green earth I could have afforded to live there.

It’s a fixer upper because while it might be in a strict historic district, the elderly lady who lived there wasn’t into updating the place and got a bit of leeway due to her health.  So I spent the last two weeks removing ducks in heart basket wallpaper and burgundy carpet.  And then there was the hunter green tile in the kitchen.  And let us not forget the posters in her son’s old bedroom that had been there since about 1994.  It was Baywatch bad.  No, actually it was worse.  I found a fossilized sock in the closet I’m still trying to forget.

*shivers*

To say I’m remodeling is an understatement, so when I get the chance to write it’s a huge stress relief these days.  Which brings us to this week’s FFF.  I didn’t give out a prompt this week and we might not have any this month because I’m overloaded, but here it is.  Thanks for reading.  You guys are the best.

Hugs,

Night

Visit our other bloggers:





 

A Nanny Tale: Part 8

 

It didn’t take long to get rid of my shorts, to be naked on top of him.  After an eternity of wanting him and not realizing how much I truly did need this since the moment I laid eyes on him, we were finally together.  Some people say their first sexual experience is to be held in the highest honor, as if two fumbling teenagers would understand how to pleasure each other in a way that would outrank any other intimate moment spanning their lifetime. 

I recall being sixteen in my friend’s bedroom, but the details are fuzzy and perhaps they’re meant to stay that way.  This time with Chris, our first time, this is the experience I’ll treasure forever.  Even if the doubt still has a way of creeping into my thoughts.  Even if we slip up and fall and it’s not like the movies, my heart still pounds like it never has before.  My eyes are still wide and trying to take in every inch of him; every move and every muscle that tightens under my hands because he wants nothing more than for me to keep touching him.

And while to look at me you wouldn’t think I had a possessive bone in my body, I want to crawl inside him, to mark him, to cover him with all of me and claim him as mine.  I want to shelter him from the dark shades of the world that have left him cowering and trap the man he so desperately is trying to be underneath me for the rest of our lives.

But he needs to breathe, to stretch his wings, and if I denied him that… he’d suffocate and resent me forever.

I pull back, kneeling between his legs, caressing his thighs to find him squirming before me.  His fingers reach for me.  I take them in my hand and kiss every single fingertip, his palm and then his wrist.  He pauses to watch me do so, like never in a thousand years could he fathom a man performing such a precious task.

There’s a lot Chris doesn’t know or he assumes; ideals embedded deep within his brain that tell him one of us rutting and the other one submitting is the only masculine way two men can have sex.  What was left out of his societal teachings was just like any other couple, two men desire love and intimacy with or without sex as much as anyone else.  The same could be said for how we love in the privacy of our own home.  No two couples are the same.  So why should we have to be?

The only thing that matters is the delivery of the message and making sure the recipient knows how much they’re cared for.

I bend down to press a kiss to the bridge of his nose where two little red marks were made from wearing his glasses.  I kiss the spot on his jaw where he cut himself shaving this morning because he was nervous from the minute he woke up.  I kiss the scar on his shoulder where he told me he’d fallen from a tree when he was a teenager.  I kiss every spot that makes him human to remind him he is, in fact, normal and this is okay.  This is just us.

His arms encircle my neck, fingers feeling about my hair until he builds a slow massage that has me practically purring for him.  I glance up to find him staring at me expectantly, waiting for whatever I have planned next.  He trusts me to guide tonight.  He trusts me enough to allow me whatever I wish.

But it’s not about what I wish; it’s about him tonight, about breaking down the final wall of his fortress.

I trace his nipple with the tip of my tongue.  Run my hands up his sides, putting emphasis in the heel of my palms to let him know how much I want this.  His answer is a rough moan I didn’t know he had in him, but its fuel to the fire and the room is growing warmer with every passing minute.

His mewls of pleasure become broken and half strangled as I take his hips within my hands and bath his stomach with searing kisses and vigorous licks.  His cock is thick and heavy when I take it in my hand and stroke it down, pulling the foreskin away from the slick head.   It twitches in my palm, much like his body does upon releasing all the stored up sexual energy he’s entrusted me with.

“Logan,” he hisses.

I say nothing.  There’s not a word in the English language that can suffice a reply to my name rolling off his tongue in the throes of passion.  It’s simply enough to know I’m doing this right.  It’s more than enough to hear his sharp gasp as I take the head of his cock into my mouth and suck the flavor of him down my throat.

I’ve always loved giving head with willing partners in the past, but none of them compare to Chris.  To Chris’s engorged dick in my mouth, straining my lips and pressing at the back of my throat.  To each salty drop of him that glazes the roof of my mouth before my tongue can swipe it away.  To each ridge and vein I want to memorize like a map to buried treasure.  More than anything, I love sucking on Chris.

The way he begins thrusting into my mouth is unholy; a fragmented cadence of his hips, that lifts his ass enough for me slither my hands underneath him and squeeze each fleshy mound with my fingers.  His unabashed chant for more as he forgets himself and gives into me is wicked.  I give him what he wants, what he needs, and take him to the root.  My air is gone.  My throat relaxes and Chris forges down my throat only to pull away again with each bob of my head.

Each time he retreats from my mouth, I miss him.

He takes matters into his own hands, squeezes the base of his cock because we both know he’s near the edge.  And with glossy lips, I withdraw from his cock to peer up at him.

“Logan,” he repeats and it’s all the explanation I need.  He pulls me down on top of him, kissing me senseless.  He wraps his legs around me once more to be as close as possible.

We roll over one too many times until we’re half off the bed, breathless and sticky from being stuck together for so long.  But it will never be close enough.  Not yet anyway.  I soothe Chris onto his stomach and run my hands over his body until he relaxes enough to listen.

“Comfortable?” I whisper in his ear and he nods against the pillow.  “You’ll tell me if it’s too much?”

He nods again with his eyes screwed shut as if he’s focusing on the sound of my voice and nothing else.  With his permission, I put a plush pillow under his stomach and guided him to open his legs wider and draw his knees in.  It was a position only a man who trusted me would take, and with that, I vowed to make this as good as possible for him.  He might have had a few guys in the past, but it was obvious Chris had never been on the bottom before.  The fact he automatically wanted to tonight, made me feel special, and I would spend hours tending to him if he needed it.  I would do anything to make him feel my… love.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath.  This is really happening to me.  This man and his life had wrapped me up and choked me with affection until I’d been forced to realize the very thing I was missing this entire time: him. 

With a towel from the floor placed between Chris’s legs, I’m ready to give him everything he’d been missing too: me.  His ass grinds against my hands as I spread him wide open. His back arches as I encircle his entrance with my thumb, testing his sensitivity.  And oh, did he like that.  He wiggles his ass for me and I smile, placing a kiss on one cheek and then the other.

I pop the top on the lube and hold it above his entrance.  With one squeeze, the clear liquid dribbles down his crack, a cold sensation rolling over his backside, and Chris groans.  Soon he allows me the honor of stretching him open with a single finger, working it in and out until he whispers, “More.”

A single word had never empowered me like this. His pleasure in my hands, a work of art in the form of his adult yet inexperienced body twisting and pushing against me, it is too incredible to describe.  To ignite his nerves with delicate touches and murmur encouragement against his skin is breathtaking.  Sheathing my length in latex, taking his hips in my hands, knowing he has given me this right after all the things he has been through—no man will ever make me feel as privileged as Chris.

I give him a few minutes, keep pressure on his entrance with the head of my cock and massage his lower back until he nods into the pillow.  He reaches out and covers my hand with his, clutching for strength as he bears down and I push inside his body for the first time.  Control doesn’t come easy in this position.  It’s instinct when wrapped inside a heat like his to thrust in and bury myself deep.  Excruciating to be patient because this moment isn’t about me, it’s about the person beneath me who is taking the brunt of the experience.

I gage his reaction, his profile crisp against his pillow.  Eyes tightly shut and mouth open as he pants for air.  His hand is cutting off my circulation but I think that’s mostly due to shock, not pain.  And I’m positive of this when he signals for me to continue.  He doesn’t hide his face like he would if he chose to continue only because stopping would upset me.

He knows he has the power to stop this.  He knows I would never be angry with him if he wasn’t ready.

Inch by inch I fill him from behind, slipping inside this heat where no one else has been.  I fill him with love and respect, with passion and lust, with everything I am that supports him.  I bottom out and ease away, watching his face for any sign he can’t handle this.  What I see is a mix of emotions, the first and foremost is surprise, trailed by an open mouthed smile. 

His breath catches with every thrust.  A single sound over and over to punctuate the thought he’s trying to convey.  And soon he brings his hips up to meet me and he’s rolling his ass, tightening around me, dancing against my cock in a way that almost makes me lose it right then and there.  I need this to last.  I need him to lose his mind as I come inside my latex prison.  I want him to pull his hair and tilt his head back, my name a shout from his lips.  But we have to be quiet.  We have to take satisfaction in what we are given: a chance to be together no matter the circumstances.

But he’s become wild and unforgiving in his time of need.  He likes this.  He really likes this.  I know because he squirms until he’s able to carefully roll over onto his back.  With his knees pulled up, he lets enter him again.  It’s better this way; face to face so I can see his eyes and every flicker of fire within them.

Buried all the way inside of him, I cover his body with mine as he hooks his legs over my shoulders and slants his mouth over mine.  The kisses are slow like the push of my hips.  His nose is sweaty as it brushes against mine and his breaths taste of candy flavored with minty mouthwash.  He’s so very real to me.  Not to say he wasn’t real to me before, but hell I’d be locked up if this was all in my head.

Now as he looks into my eyes from inches away and holds me in a cocoon of arms and legs, he is so very real.  And I’ll be damned if he doesn’t see me back.  I take his cock in my hand between us, using what strength I have left to prop myself up against the wall with one hand and stroke him off.

He gets this look on his face, so sweet and lost.  His eyes are focused on me but it’s like he’s looking at the face of heaven—a cocktail of fear and awe—and I know he’s about to spill over.  His neck and shoulders are splotchy over his summer tan, heating up to a deep scarlet hue when the blood rushes to his cock.  His body seizes up.  He tightens around me—fingers and toes curling into my skin. His back arches and his mouth opens wide. 

He exhales in sharp breaths. Once, twice, and then he moans so loud I hope it’s only our close proximity that makes the sound rattle my eardrums.  I realize it’s my name on his tongue, seared into my mind like the vision of his eyes snapping open.  His blues sparkle as he climaxes in my hand and on his chest.

Maybe the noise I’m hearing is actually me.  Because before I can make sense of the tidal wave crashing over me, my throat is vibrating with nonsense and I’m gripping his shoulder tight enough to leave a bruise.  I ache everywhere, in a good way, and for a few seconds I experience one of the most powerful climaxes of my life.  And yet my hips are still moving as my dick softens inside him.

I’m still in heat, still with this drive to make him feel me; let him know this is real.  I’m real.

I can’t move.  Can’t think.  Can only let my elbow lock as I hold myself up on the wall and hang my head to see his face, his eyes staring up at me like a well fucked man.

After minutes of learning to breath, to make sure my heart isn’t going to implode, I pull out and hold onto his knees for support.  Why is it so quiet in here?  A second ago I thought the world was coming down around us.  Where did the noise go?  Why am I freaking out?  Why isn’t he saying anything?  Did I hurt him?

No.  This has never happened to me before.  I’m panicking after sex.  What does this mean?  Did he break me?

“Chris, I…”

“I had no idea how much I needed that.”  He puts a hand over his eyes and grins.  Chris blushes across his cheeks and nose as he bites his bottom lip and sighs.  And then he’s laughing softly and I feel my hope die.  This is funny to him?  I just made love to him and it’s a joke?  Whatever erection I had left flopped and fizzled.

“Yeah.”  I get off the bed and pull the condom off.  I tie it up and dispose of it in the bathroom.  I’m not sure how long I stand there, clutching the sides of the sink and looking at myself in the mirror, but it feels like forever.

His footsteps are light.  His presence is huge, looming and stressful as he leans in the doorway.  “Logan, you okay?”

Maybe it’s because I was hoping we’d have one of those moments just like at the end of a romance movie and secretly set myself up for failure that I’m freaking out.  Or maybe it was my greatest fear to be rejected by the man I fell in love with that I had never done this before, fallen this hard.  But his laughter hurt me.  It reminded me of the laughs cast my way my entire life.  It was like a punch in the face I’d felt a million times but thought I’d never feel again.

“You know, I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed, but I’ve never had anyone laugh at me after the fact either.  That was supposed to mean something, what I just did, what we did.  And you just—”

He takes my lips before I can say anything else to out me as a softie.  My mom always said I wore my heart on my sleeve and the littlest thing could make me or break me, but she never told me how to protect myself from this.  She never told me what being a grown up in love felt like.

It’s like being a wreck, because I am right now and I don’t know how to fix it.  I thought I did something good.  I thought we had something good.  I’ve never cared about someone else’s needs like this.  I’ve never… been kissed like this.

“Logan, look at me.”  He tips my chin up.  I have a hard time meeting his eyes.  “I wasn’t laughing at you.  I was laughing because it felt good to get it out.  You made me feel good.”

Oh.  Oh shit.  See?  I’m a fucking mess, dammit!  “You can just tell if me I sucked.  It’s not a big deal.”  I brush it off and reach for some tissues because I’m uncomfortable and I have no idea how to tell him how I really feel.

“You sucked like a champ,” he teases me near my ear.  His tongue traces my earlobe.  Soon his arms are around me and his warm cock is pushing against my ass. “And now you have me saying cheesy shit.  Must have done something right because I could care less about it too.”

I swallow hard.  “I didn’t hurt you?”

“Not saying I won’t be sore tomorrow, but that’s supposed to be a sign of a good night, right?  Logan, please look at me.”  He urges me to turn around.  “I had no idea you’d be this nervous after.  I mean, you sure knew what you were doing in there.  I’ve never had anyone… It was never like that before.”

“Well, I’ve fucked, but I’ve never made love to anyone before.  So it’s a night of firsts for both of us.”

I only get to see his eyes for a mere second before he’s claiming my lips again.  This time my brain shuts down and I stop thinking about my petty insecurities.  This time he doesn’t laugh.  His mouth burns against mine.  His tongue traces my taste buds.  His hands tighten in my hair and I know, I just know, he gets what a big deal it was me for to say that.  Somehow I’ve managed to fuck the nervous out of him and take it all inside me because he knows exactly how to soothe my worries.

His kisses take him down my jaw and up to my ear where he whispers, “I love you too.”

I harden all over again.  He takes my hand and cuts me a heavy lidded look.  He leads me back into the bedroom, cuts off the lights and invites me under the covers.  Our covers.  In our bed.  Words are futile as his hot mouth searches out mine in the dark.  His hand glides over my cock and he pulls me against him.  We taste and explore until we’re sated and drowsy.  Until I get that he wants to protect me within the safety of his arms and silently vows to cherish me back.

He gets that my heart is just as mortal as his and sometimes I don’t do and say the right things.  He gets that I’m human, reminds me it is okay.  He understands me because he’s lived in my shoes, just a different style off the shelf.

I love him.

How could I not have seen that coming?

***

Joey is glaring at us from across the table.  He holds a crayon in one hand.  The stick of red wax hovers over his paper kid’s menu with malice.   “Tomorrow?”  He stabs the puzzle he’d been working so hard to elaborate on for the sake of corporate, because their idea of a maze was too childish and according to him, not challenging enough for their five to ten demographic.

“Not a big deal, buddy.  Mrs. Vargas just wants to talk about stuff with you and show you around the school.  It’ll probably take an hour tops.”  Chris looks at me over glasses and pinches my leg under the table.

I rub the burn away and plaster on a smile.  “Joey, you should see this place.  Your dad and I were cruising around there a few days ago and these kids were chillin’ on the grass, reading to each other and having snacks.  It was great.”

“Sounds like daycare.” Joey’s eyes become slits and he drops his crayon to cross his arms.  “I’m not a baby.”

“Tsk. Who says you’re a baby?  We’re talking fourth grade here. Guess what fourth grade has?  A reading club and they write stories too.  I thought of you the minute Mrs. Vargas let that slip.  You’d dig it.”  I relax against the booth and rest my arm along the back cushion.  “Did we mention we’re going to buy you sneakers today?”

“That’s bribery.”  Joey lifts a blond brow.

“How do you know these words?”  Chris lifts his palms and blinks.  “Demographic.  Now bribery?  I can’t handle this.”  Chris exhales and puts his hands on the table.

Joey shrugs.  “I read a lot.”

“Yeah?  So did I at your age and I never picked up that kind of vocabulary.  What the heck every happened to the Hardy Boys?”

Joey rolls his eyes.

“Boxcar Children?”

Joey blinks.  “Who?”

“Never mind.”  Chris sighs over his coffee.

Our waitress brings over a tray with our breakfast and puts Joey’s pancake special in front of him.  She’s older, smiles a lot and reminds me of the grandmotherly type.  She never saw Joey’s attitude coming; probably was the last thing she ever expected.  He took one look at the chocolate chips, whipped cream, and cherry that made up a smiley face on his pancakes and slowly looked up at her.

“I’m not a baby.”

“No you most certainly are not.  You’re a big boy.”  She smiles again and sets down the rest of our food.

“A big boy is a stupid label grownups call boys who are still in daycare.  I am not going to daycare.”  Joey pushes his plate away.

“Joseph Wyzak, you apologize right now.”  Chris cocks his head and waits.

“For what?  I don’t want a smiley face on my pancake because I’m not very happy right now.”

“What you are is a rude and you will apologize to her immediately or we are going home and you can eat cold cereal.  Not the marshmallow kind either.” Chris raises his hand and starts to count down his fingers.

Joey huffs and looks up at the waitress.  “I’m sorry my dad and his boyfriend tried to bribe me with pancakes and sneakers because they want me to go to daycare.”

“Oh no.”  I cover my eyes with my hand.

“Evelyn is it?  I am terribly sorry for my son’s rudeness.  Normally he has manners but I guess he left them at home today, which is where he’ll be spending the rest of the day with no books and no television and no marshmallows.”

“You can’t do that.  I didn’t do anything wrong.”  Joey leans over the table.  “That’s unfair.”

“You’ll have a bit of time to yourself to reflect on what you did, I assure you.”  Chris pulls two twenties out of his wallet and hands them to Evelyn.  “Again, I apologize for the outburst.  I am so embarrassed. Please keep the change and can we get this to go?”

She nods.  “Stay strong.  You’re doing it right.”  She pats Chris on the shoulder and wanders off to the register. Chris is either comfortable with me being called his boyfriend now, or he’s too wrapped up in Joey’s tirade to care.  I’m just an innocent bystander until Chris rings the bell and lets me into the ring.

“I didn’t do anything wrong.”  Tears gather in Joey’s eyes.  “You’re just trying to get rid of me like you always do.  You want to put me in another stupid school so you can go to work and I never see you again.  I wish Logan was my dad.”  Joey slides out of the booth and runs for the front door.

Chris’s breath catches in his throat.  He closes his eyes behind his glasses.  The bell has tolled.  My turn now.

“Out.”  I push Chris up.  “You stay here and I’ll go after him.”

“No, I should…”

“Chris, I got this.  He thinks I’ll give him hearts and flowers for being a brat and he’s wrong.  If he sees we both agree he was being a little shit then I think he’ll get the point.”

“I’m not a bad father.  I can do this.”

“But that’s the beauty of being in a relationship with your nanny. I got your back on this and I know what I’m doing on occasion.”  He gestures for me to go with defeat in his eyes. “And you’re anything but a bad father.  If I knew you wouldn’t have a stroke, I’d kiss you on the spot to make everything better.  I’ll bank it for later though. Count on it.”

Chris sags back into the booth and stares at the table.  His kid told him he wished he had another dad.  Even though Joey didn’t really mean it, Chris thinks he did.  The guy looks like he had his heart ripped out of his chest.

I find Joey trying to yank the Rover’s door open despite the blaring alarm.  He has tears streaming down his cheeks.  The moment he sees me, he tries with all his might to get into the car.  I turn the alarm off and gently grab him by the shoulders as I crouch in front of him.

“What you just said to your father was awful.  If it weren’t for that man in there you wouldn’t be here.  You wouldn’t have been born, or have a roof over your head, or books to read.  You wouldn’t be loved to death.  You wouldn’t have food on your table.  You could have been born during the French Revolution you love to read about so much and died of rat disease or whatever it’s called, or had your head chopped off for stealing bread because you were too poor to feed your eight brothers and sisters.”  I tipped his chin up.  “And I love you so much, Joey, but I will never be that man in there.  I will protect you and guide you and be the best role model I can be for you, but I am not Christopher Wyzak.  I am not the man who raised you to be a good person with kind words.  I am not the man whose heart you just broke when you said such rude things.”

I take his hands in mine.  He cries harder.  “He has done nothing but try to make your life better.  He wants the best for you, not to throw you away or put you in daycare.  He found a school that fits you, that will make you feel as special as you are to him.  Do you know how much your dad loves you, Joey?  Do you know what he’d do to make you happy?”

Joey sniffs and nods.  I wipe his tears away.  “Then tell me why you would say a thing like that to your dad?  Tell me the reason you were mean to Evelyn back there when she didn’t deserve that.”

He hiccups and rubs his eyes.  “I don’t want to go to a new school.”

“Would you rather go back to the old one?  Because I’m telling you, Joey, it ain’t happenin’.  Between you and me, and don’t you ever say I told you this because I’ll deny it to the very end, Sister Grace is an evil witch.”  Joey smiles through his tears.  He wipes snot from his nose and looks at the offending splotch on his arm like he’s contracted a flesh eating virus.  I pull a tissue out of my pocket, because kids, and hand it to him.  “This school, buddy, it’s amazing.  It’s everything you ever wanted and it’s far from daycare.  Trust me.  It’s only for kids with the right stuff—you know what I’m sayin’.”

“No.”  He shakes his head.

“It’s for kids who want more than normal schools have to offer.  It’s for boys and girls like you who need good friends and great teachers and opportunities I can’t normally give you.”  Chris puts the food on the Rover’s hood and joins me at Joey’s eye level.  “But I can’t send you there to see Mrs. Vargas with that kind of behavior, and it’s not because I don’t love you, but because you are a reflection of me.  Whether you like it or not, you are my baby and I did not raise you to be cruel.  Not to me.  Not to anyone.  So if you can’t act like a young man then I’ll have to find you a public school to go to.  Because I have to work to pay for our house, for our food, and because I love where I work.  And I don’t send you to school or tell Logan to watch you because I don’t want to be with you.  In a perfect world, Joey, I would spend every second I had with you, but this is real life.  And I love you.  And that’s never going to change—no matter how much you hate me right now.”

“I don’t hate you,” Joey sobs.

“Then why did you say that back there?”  Chris takes his glasses off and rubs the bridge of his nose.

Joey wraps his arms around his skinny chest.  “I’m scared they won’t like me.  No one ever likes me.”

“It’s my fault for keeping you at that school for so long, Joey.  I’m sorry I did wrong by you, but I’m trying to make up for it.  The minute we took you out of there things have been good.  You made friends at Sabine’s.  You smile more.  You talk to me more.  So do you think I’d send you to another school like that?  Not gonna happen, buddy.  Never again.  I promise you that.”  Chris puts his glasses back on.  He opens his arms and Joey stumbles forward.  He clings to his dad.

“I’m sorry, dad.”  Joey mumbles into Chris’s neck.  “Please don’t be mad at me.  I’ll eat the smiley face.”

Chris surprises me with a smile over Joey’s shoulder.  Joey sure does know how to get to his dad.  Has him wrapped right around his little finger.

“So we good?  No more losing our manners, even when we’re upset?”  I tap Joey on the nose.

“Okay.”  Joey nods.  “I’m sorry.”

I take Joey’s hand.  “You need to go back in there and tell Evelyn you’re sorry too.”

“Okay.”  Joey hangs his head.

“Then maybe we’ll see about those sneakers,” Chris adds because his kid is still freaked out and Chris is still a dad who wants to make everything better.  “But after that, you’re grounded to your room until dinner.”

Joey bites back his smile.  “Okay,” he murmurs.

I walk Joey back to the restaurant door.  “I don’t know how you do it, kid, but you better thank the stars you have a good dad.”

Joey struggles with the door.  Once he achieves victory, using his entire body to prop the heavy glass open, he looks over his shoulder and smiles.  “Duh.”

Kids—what the fuck sometimes, am I right?

To be continued…

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Guest Author Elaina M. Roberts and The Fox's Mate!

Hey all!

Most of you have been following us every week for Flash Fiction Friday and will recognize my fellow blogger Elaina M. Roberts.  Today she’s taking over the blog to share with us her latest release The Fox’s Mate.  And while this is a M/F tale I am sure, like myself, you will appreciate Elaina’s wicked style of writing, juicy characters and overall amazing talent no matter the genre.  So be sure to read all about it and enter the Rafflecopter giveaway below!



Blurb:

Alpha Draike Weatherby has enjoyed many years of peace in his districts. He’s made agreements with the various shifter races as well as the Vampire Lord of London to keep crime down and their existence safe from human knowledge. Until now. A loyal gang of nonhuman runaways are systematically losing members. Rat shifters have grown bold, increasing crime in his area and risking their secret. Then there’s Olivia. Naked, bleeding, and fleeing a trio of unsavory characters, she runs straight into his arms…and stirs his most protective instincts.

As he digs deeper, he discovers an interconnecting web with a single common thread: Olivia. To uncover the truth, he must gain the trust of the terrified woman who entices his fox. But she guards a secret that could destroy or save her.

Excerpt:

“I fucking hate you sometimes.”

“I’m wounded. Stop complaining, Franklin.” Draike grinned and slung his arm over his young friend’s shoulder as they approached the doorman of The Phoenix nightclub. He reached over and ruffled Franklin’s hair with his free hand, laughing when the boy elbowed him in the ribs. “Ooof! Come now, Benson is always pushing us to do more together.”

“Somehow I doubt that being your date at a gay bar is what your housekeeper had in mind, sir.” Franklin ducked his head so his long brown hair covered his eyes, and his growing blush. “If any of my mates are here, I’ll catch a rash of shite.”

“If any of your friends are here, Franklin, and you didn’t know of their proclivities, then I’m certain they’ll be equally reluctant to draw your attention. Otherwise, feel free to blame it on losing a bet.”

“Damn straight, I will.”

The pair nodded to the doorman and squeezed past him into the darkened building. The thumping techno beat and kaleidoscope of light from the glitter ball collided with the scents of cologned, perfumed, or unwashed bodies to create a veritable hell for the shifter. Draike gripped Franklin’s arm until he found some measure of equilibrium. He kept it there to lend truth to their charade. They pushed their way through the press of half-naked men to the bar to order a round of drinks and make initial, discreet inquiries.

The large, flat-screen monitor above the narrow bar played the best in gay pornography in vivid Technicolor. The four men on the screen were enjoying an adult version of naked Twister on an oiled mat. Hands slipped and slid along the mat to land on various parts of the other players’ bodies, much to the delight of the watching crowd, until they dispensed with all pretense of the game. A shout went up from the crowd when the game on the screen grew more explicit, and moaning joined the loud music. Franklin watched with shocked fascination until Draike pulled him from the bar and along the edge of the dance floor.

The fox looked for seats closer to the kitchen where the furniture, equipment, and architecture buffered some of the noise. A pair of young vampires caught Draike’s eye and slid from their booth. The youngest of the pair looked Franklin up and down as if he was a scrumptious treat in a candy shop. He even licked his lips.

“What the fuck?” Franklin jerked his vest closed and turned to the side. “Back off, mate. I’m not on the menu. Any menu.”

“Such a pity.” The young vampire walked his fingers up Franklin’s bicep. He leaned forward with an appreciative sniff. “You should be on everyone’s menu, beautiful. Whaddya say you and me do our…business…on the dance floor?”

“Think with the big head, fang-face, before you’re drinking through a straw.”

Draike plucked the pliers from the young man’s hand with a chuckle. He caught Franklin around the waist and pulled him against his chest. “How the hell did you get that past security?”

“Feisty.” Franklin’s admirer hissed. “I like that.” At Draike’s low growl, he raised his hands. “’S cool, mate. But if you’re ever in the mood to share…”

The older vampire smacked his associate on the head. He turned to Draike and gestured to the table. “Courtesy of Lord Maximus, Mr. Weatherby. He’ll join you later this evening.”

Draike murmured his thanks as they left, certain they would hear above the thumping bass. The pair nodded as they left, passing on either side of his companion.

Franklin jumped as they brushed against him on their way into the sinuous slide of male chests and leather-clad rears on the dance floor. Reaching behind him, he pulled a business card from his pocket. “Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Crumpling the card, he threw it at Draike’s head.

The fox shifter caught it, flattened it on the table, and burst out laughing. The card contained the young vampire’s name and telephone number.

“If one more bloke grabs my arse, I’m going to start the mother of all bar brawls.” Franklin flopped into the booth and glared at his chuckling mentor. He turned in the booth, stretching his legs along the cracked and patched seat. “I hate having my back to the room.”

“I know you do, and you’ve been a fine sport to play along. If we discover nothing tonight, at least you’ll have a date.” Draike held the crumpled paper between his fingers. Though his voice was teasing and his smile genuine, he scanned the packed dance floor.

“If I get a call from that guy, I swear I will smother you in your sleep,” Franklin grumbled as he slouched deeper into the seat.

Book Info:
Title - The Fox's Mate
Series - Children of Jarilo, Book One
genre - romantic Urban Fantasy
release date - June 5th
publisher - Taliesin Publishing - http://www.taliesinpublishing.com/
length - novel (87K+ words)
cover art - attached

Author Links:
Goodreads

Purchase Links:
Taliesin Publishing
Smashwords (all file formats)


The Fox's Mate - a Rafflecopter giveaway

Friday, May 30, 2014

Flash Fiction Friday! A Nanny Tale: Part 7


Hey all!

This week’s prompt was:

Something happens in your story to make what was once impossible now possible.

In this week’s installment, Chris finally feels comfortable in his own skin and very close to Logan, enough to do something he hasn’t shared with anyone in a long time; something that from the beginning seemed nearly impossible for the both of them.  You’ll have to read to the end to find out.  ;)

~Night

Visit our other bloggers:



A Nanny Tale: Part 7

Chris and I dropped Joey off at Sabine’s house for the day.  Sabine’s husband was more than happy to watch him along with their youngest child, Mila, who is only two years younger than Joey.  The pair was engrossed in some video game while they sucked from tubes of yogurt before we left, so Chris felt better leaving his son in good hands.

It was good for Joey to be a kid again, and the change in him in the past couple of days did everyone else some good too.

Chris wanted to keep his son out of anything to do with Our Sacred Heart, especially the talk we were about to have with Sister Grace.  The smile his son gave him before we walked out the door this morning was a reminder that what Chris was about to do was the right thing.  Joey was on both our minds as we sat in Sister Grace’s office, staring holes into the wall.

I gave Chris’s hand a quick squeeze.  “You okay?”

He doesn’t look at me, but he curls his pinky around my finger.  “I want to get this over with.  The longer we have to wait here, the faster I’m losing my cool, ya know?”

“Yeah, I do.”  I pat his hand and release his fingers.  “Don’t give in to her, no matter what she says.  I mean it, Chris.  If you plan to get a lawyer over this don’t give her ammunition against you.”

“I know. I know.  But it’s so hard not to just…”

“Throttle her?”  I chuckle.  “Right there with you.”

“I know.”  He smiles at me.  It’s a nervous smile, yet sincere and I want to wave a magic wand to whisk his fears away.

“We have a plan,” I remind him.  “Stick to it and we’ll be fine.”

His cheeks deflate of air.  Chris rubs his hands along his knees and nods.  His stare is fixated on the table as Sister Grace enters the room.  She carries a cold swish of air when she passes us, along with the smell of antiseptic and trouble.  “Thank you for coming, Christopher.”

Hello to you to, Evil one.  Nice to know I exist.  Thank you for coming, I mock in my head, wanting to scrunch up my face and stick out my tongue.  Instead of pulling a Joey, I hit record on my phone and make sure the microphone is free from under my thigh on the chair.

Sister Grace sits down at her rolling chair throne and gives us a grave look with her unsympathetic, small eyes.  “I wish this visit was under happier circumstances, but I’m afraid I’ve called you here to talk about Joseph’s unpleasant performance last week.  And before we continue, may I ask why you’ve brought your nanny along to this meeting?”

“If this concerns Joey’s performance in school, Logan has a right to be aware of the situation,” Chris replies calmly.  Inside, I cheer for his ability to conjure some tactful backbone.  Me?  Had I met this woman under different conditions, I would have told her to go back to hell.

“I fail to see your logic there, Christopher, but it is your choice to bring another man into your child’s life.”  She glances up from where she opens a file folder on her desk.  She waits for Chris to unravel at the innuendo.  Her smile fizzles when she receives no such reward.  “Very well, as I’m sure you’ve heard, there was an incident last Friday where Joey used violence against three of our students.”

Chris’s jaw ticks.  He reels the anger in and crosses his ankle over his knee, ever the model of perfect parenting.  “Oh, I’m aware, Sister Grace.  What astounds me as a parent is that I was neither informed of the incident the day it happened by you, nor was I able to get all sides of the story from the other students and their parents.  That’s pretty standard in these situations, and according to your school handbook, that is in fact protocol.”

“Sometimes protocol does not cover every situation, Christopher.”  Sister Grace tilts her head with a sickening smile.

“I’d prefer for you to address me as Mr. Wyzak, Sister Grace.”  Chris sits up straight.  The only hint he’s pissed is the way his hands seek to grip the edge of his chair, otherwise his performance is as flawless as a Chinese acrobat from Cirque de Soleil.  “And as the head of this institution, I fail to see where your black and white protocol couldn’t help you help my son.  If my child is sick, you call me.  If my child is in trouble, you call me.  If my child is injured in any way, you call me.  If my child is verbally threatened and then attacked for trying to avoid being harmed, you put a stop to that and then call me because I am his parent and I have every right to know.”

Sister Grace scoffs.  “Threatened?  Oh, I think not, Mr. Wyzak.  Your child is the threat here.  This isn’t the first time he’s preached his tolerance for homosexuality to the student body, and as you know, I overlook your lifestyle because your grandfather was a fine patron of this school and his church, but after Joseph laid hands on another child to put his point across, I don’t think I can overlook you or your family any longer.  In fact, I know I can’t.”

“But you can overlook my child being attacked because he deserves what he gets, right?”  Chris’s nostrils flare.  “Your doctrine states two men who partake in the sacred union of marriage are unholy.  I have done no so such thing, not that it’s any of your business.  Therefore, your prejudice against my child, who is innocent in all of this because he told another child to stop calling his father a faggot, is the only unholy thing here.  I took pictures of Joey’s injuries.  I will also be filing a complaint with the church, where there are people who will willingly speak to me on behalf of my grandfather’s patronage.  You know?—the people who oversee this entire establishment and its funding. 

Chris sucks in air, his face beet red.  “Because I have it on good authority that you stood by as three boys twice my son’s size pushed him to the ground, kicked him, and then proceeded to pull him down from a six foot fence when he tried to escape.  And then they hit him some more.  All because he told them to stop saying hateful things; words the church would deem inappropriate and scornful from any person’s mouth, especially a child’s.  He was not preaching homosexual tolerance.  He was sticking up for his family against a gang of bullies. A situation you allowed to continue because of your personal beliefs, not the church’s or this school.”

Sister Grace sneered as she sat back in her chair.  Her icy eyes darkened and she closed the thick folder with a whack.  “That’s it, Christopher.  I have no choice but to relieve your child of his position as a student at Our Sacred Heart.  I will no longer tolerate these incidents.  And I cannot in good conscience, however close your grandfather was to my heart, maintain relations with your immoral family as part of our program here.  I will have a staff member gather Joseph’s things and you can retrieve them from his teacher before you leave.  After that, do not step foot on these premises or I will have no choice but to call the authorities.”

I take Chris’s hand and pull him to his feet as I stand. I know he’s about to say something that he will regret, something she can use against us later.  Sister Grace’s eyes widen and her chest rises to action, full of hot air.  She expected an enraged comeback, not us holding hands.  It’s like water to the Wicked Witch.  She’s either melting or about to have a coronary.

“Thank you for your time, Sister Grace.  Our lawyer will be in touch,” I manage, when really I want to bang her head into a wall.  But then, I’d be no better than her, and I want to walk out of here guilt free and proud with Chris on my arm, because we deserve to be human.  Our little family unit deserves better than this place has to offer.

“Lawyer?”  She gapes.  “For what?  Your child has been expelled indefinitely from this school and he will not be returning as long as I run this place.  Neither will the two of you.”

I smile and open her office door.  “Goodbye, Sister Grace.”  Before I leave, I hold up my phone for her to watch me press the stop button.  “And thank you for everything.”

***

We had lunch at this summer beachfront restaurant Chris apparently loves.  It’s a red shack on stilts, surrounded by a rickety patio with chairs, but the fish and chips are amazing and the beer is cheap.  Better than the menu is Chris’s easygoing smile.  And the way he wears his dark shades atop his toothy grin and let the breeze ruffle his short hair. 

His laugh as it carries over the water. The sound deep and soft around me before it trickles off to be swallowed by miles and miles of lake.  His chilled out posture as he lounges untroubled in his chair with his feet resting on the banister.

I pull my phone out of my back pocket and snap a picture of him before he can gripe.  What I get is one good shot and several of him playfully reaching for me as beer sloshes onto the table.

“Stop it,” he begs on a laugh.

“No way.” I put the phone out of his reach.  “I need a new background for my phone.”

He sighs my name because he has no idea where to begin with that one.  I’m caught up in his tranquil mix of windblown hair, sand and surf, and feel comfortable enough to tease him.  “Logan…”

“What?”  I pout.  “I have to show the other nannies my hot new boyfriend when we get together for book club.  They’ll start to think you’re imaginary.”

His brows hitch up.  He puts his beer down seriously and swivels in his chair.  “Book club?”

Laughter bubbles past my lips.  “We’ve been going at this for how long and you still don’t know when I’m joking?  Seriously, Chris, you believe I go to book club?  Think about it. ”

“So you don’t secretly go to book club?” The corner of his mouth twitches.

I lean in until our noses are nearly touching, a sparkle in my eyes that is reflected in his.  “The only thing I secretly do is climb into bed with you at night.”

He licks his lips.  Looks over my shoulder to make sure we’re alone. His irises darken and a rasp lowers his voice as he says, “That’s not exactly a secret anymore.  You don’t have anything juicier to get off your chest?”

Oh yes.  The thing I could tell you…

“The other ones you’ll have to pry out of me by force.  I’m not one to just kiss and tell.”  I touch my nose to his. Close my eyes and sneak a kiss from his lips.

“Those must be some dirty secrets you have.  What would it cost me to find out?” he whispers against my mouth.  I’d give him anything for free.  Anything at all.

My hands slither over his knees and dip under the bottom of his shorts.  “What are you offering?”

His Adam ’s apple bobs up and down.  He slides his rough cheek across mine as he dips his head to graze my neck with his lips.  “Hopefully something you want.”

“Chris, you’re giving me exactly what I want right this very second.  You’re giving me the real you.”  I open my lips across his cheek, intending to take our affection a little further.

Unfortunately a bang followed by a child’s high pitched cry captures our attention, sucking the sweet moment into oblivion and really pissing me off.  A young family exits the restaurant with a large stroller that nearly rolls over Chris’s toes.  They apologize profusely, smile and wave, and then take their small circus down the ramp.  We watch as they shove countless bags into the back of their station wagon, and wrangle their three kids into their car seats.

There’s a minute where I struggle to recapture my boyfriend’s focus, as if he’s silently reliving those first few years with Joey.  The way a parent looks at their teenager and wonders where the time went, wonders why they aren’t tiny and fragrant any more, all swaddled up and asleep in their arms.   I wait for Chris to retreat into himself now that our moment is gone, to snatch onto those years where I wasn’t a blip on his radar and run towards the life he used to have.

As fast as the trance swept him away, he snaps back quickly.  The edges of his blue eyes crinkle and he gives me this strange smile.

“You know what, Logan?  I do feel like me right now.”  He spins my chair to angle us side by side, facing the beach.  “I’ve been afraid of this life for a long time and I don’t know why.  I mean, I do, but now that I’m here all of that seems pointless to be scared of.  Being aware is good.  That’s normal.  Hiding myself?  That’s not okay and I feel like I have a lot of apologizing to do for all the years I kept my family from being a part of this.”  He spreads his arms to encompass the soul of the world.

“Part of what?”

“Is there a word for it?”  He grins at me.

I shrug.  “Not sure, but I think I get what you mean. Glad to have you with us, Chris, even if it took a shitty beer and a haggard old nun to get there.”  I hand him his beer and I clink my bottle against his.  “Congratulations.”

He gives me a peck at the corner of my mouth that tastes of oranges and the end of this lakeside summer.


***

After lunch, Chris and I drive back into North Holland to visit a potential school for Joey.  At the birthday party last week, Chris opened up to the Tetterings about Joey’s situation and Demarcus was quick to recommend a liberal arts academy his niece goes to.  A private school about five minutes from the house, Blue Ridge Academy is a far cry from Sister Grace’s fortress of intolerance.

Set back from the main road, Blue Ridge is situated on acres of meticulously kept lawn space.  Colorful flowers add a punch of color around the main building.  The blue and white school flag waves proudly in the air.  And all around us, children sit on the lawn in small groups with their teachers for what looks to be story time or reading hour—whatever they call it these days.

“Joey would love that,” Chris comments. “I haven’t been inside yet and it already feels right.  Like one of those puppy farms where all the little buggers run around, all happy and shit.”

“Uh… When have you been to a puppy farm and how far away is it from here?”

He elbows me in the side.  “Shut up.  This is nice, that’s what I meant.”

“I still want to see the puppy farm,” I grumble, but understand his meaning just by the tone of his voice.

I had to agree with him.  There is peaceful air to the place.  Even the main building looks more like an old bed and breakfast than it does a school with wide, shaded porches and bright blue shutters.  The children lounge on their tummies to enjoy a good read with their classmates.  The lady near the front door hands out bottled water and orange slices.  All of it feels good, a place Joey would thrive instead of shut down.

All the place was missing was a spontaneous rainbow arching over the roof and a catchy theme song to reach ultimate perfection status.

“Hate to break it to you, Chris, but you can’t take a tour from the car.  This isn’t like a child safari.”  I wink at him.  “Being late for our appointment probably won’t help us out either.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.  Let’s do this.”  Chris fusses with his hair in the visor mirror.  Then he adjusts the sleeves of his button down shirt until they rest just below his elbows.  “I look like the kind of dad whose kid could go here?”

“You look like the kind of dad that cares enough to change out of his sweatpants.”  I pat his knee.  “Don’t freak out on me.  You look like a walking, talking ad for the Gap.  Chill.”

“The Gap?  Is that good?”

I blink at him.  Laughing in his face would kill the mood.  “Yes.  That’s a good thing.”

“Oh, alright, I think I’m ready.”

I roll my eyes, getting out of the car, because his nerves are justifiable but comedic at times.  “So we should go over our approach before we go in,” I say as we stroll up the sidewalk to the main building.  “Are we out now, or am I still a nanny for public appearances?”

Before he can lose his mind, I hold up my hands to him.  “I’m not mad in the least, Chris, if we’re still keeping this on the down low with people we don’t know.  I just want to have your back when we’re in there.  I know what we are now.  That’s all that matters to me.”

He puts his hands on his hips and swishes his bunched up lips from side to side.  He lets go of a deep breath and reaches for my hand.  “I’m in the business of teaching my kid to be himself.  To do that, I have to be a role model and walk the talk.  Since Joey is okay with us and we’re okay with us, then that means we’re together.  We tell them that.”

I put my hand in his.  Confidence pours through me from his fingers into my palm.  Every time I think I have Chris’ next move pegged, he shocks me by going the other direction.  I should have known he wasn’t as average as I perceived him to be in the beginning.  His spontaneity and passion are just small things about Chris that keep me coming back.

I love how one moment I’m leading and the next he takes the reins.  For instance, right now, he’s made me a part of his future by taking me with him to hunt down good schools for his child.  That’s big—really big, actually.  This means we’re committed.  That he expects me to stick around for a long time—not that I have any intention to run, but I guess I never realized how many things Chris had to change to fit me into his life.

Now he expects me to do the same, to settle down.  To be a part of Joey’s child rearing, and not as a nanny anymore, but as a man who adores him and will teach him and discipline him as if he were my own.  His schooling is just as important, and a sudden fierceness grabs me by the balls and refuses to let go.  This school has to be good enough for Joey.  If it isn’t, we’re moving on to the next one because no one is going to put Joey Baby in a corner again.

“You’re hurting my hand.”  Chris wiggles his fingers in my grasp.  “You okay?”

“Sorry.”  I let go.  “Guess I’m as nervous as you are.”

“Nothing to be nervous about,” the orange slice lady greets us.  Thankfully she wipes her hands off before she offers us a handshake.  “I’m Mel Vargas, the principal here.  If I had to take a guess, I’d say one of you is Mr. Wyzak.”

“Yes.  That’s me.”  Chris shakes her hand.  “Uh, this is my… This is my partner, Logan Davis.  Thank you for having us.”

“Not a problem.” Her round cheeks lift with sincere happiness.  “It’s a pleasure to have you both with us today.  Let me hand snack duty over to one of the aides and I’ll be happy to show you around.”

While she meets with one of the helpers, I turn to Chris.  His stare holds mine.  Our hands find their way back to each other.  I guess after Sister Grace, it’s hard to hide the relief from our faces.  That Mrs. Vargas didn’t flinch or stutter in our presence spoke volumes of the attitude here at Blue Ridge.

“We’re all set.”  She tucks her apron into one of the patio chairs.  “Let’s start inside.  It’s getting hot out here.”

She opens the front door, one that reminds me of the door at home, and walks inside.  “Hey, George,” she addresses a twenty something man in a security uniform at the front desk.  “I saw those teenagers hanging around the parking lot again.”

“On it,” he says and grabs his hat.  “They keep hopping the fence and leaving those cigarette butts behind the bushes.  I told them if I saw them again I was calling their folks.”

“Good idea, George.  I don’t even want to think about what would happen if the kids got ahold of one of those nasty things.”  Mel fans her face and grins up at us.  “Teenagers,” she groans, rolling her eyes.  “They all have to grow up sometime.”

“That’s a scary thought,” Chris jokes.  “I’m just now learning how to handle my son being nine.”

Mel cackles.  “Now that’s a rough age.  My son was so dramatic back then I had a hard time keeping a straight face.  Rule number one: don’t laugh at them or you’ll lose your edge.  Laugh at them when they’re teenagers and you’re looking at a possible nuclear explosion.”

“I’ll remember that.” Chris tugs me along.

For a curvy, little lady, Mrs. Vargas must have a smidge of long distance runner in her because she walks like she’s on fire.  I attribute her speed to the fact she has to keep up with the kids, but it’s still pretty mesmerizing to watch her cushy loafers race over the tile like we’re in a power walking competition. I drag in air when we stop at the back of the main building only to hear her call it the Big House.

“The kids have always called it that, easier on the little ones because it does, in fact, look like a big house.  The rest of the school is connected by enclosed hallways that lead to smaller buildings for each grade.  And yes, they used to be houses.  This entire place was an assisted living facility about twenty years ago, but we got a grant to buy it and renovate it.”

“I feel like I’m in someone’s house,” I say without thinking.  I trace the molding in the doorway and then stick my head into one of the classrooms that used to be a bedroom.

Little hands cut out of brightly colored tissue paper are stuck to the windows.  Students’ names scribbled across them in amateur handwriting.  Ten small desks are arranged in a semi-circle around the teacher’s desk and the scent of vanilla permeates my nose in a comforting way.  It’s a room where young minds are eager to learn, eager to return every day to see their teacher who obviously cares for them.  They’re eager to get messy with finger paints and learn their numbers by bending pipe cleaners and gluing them to a board in the corner.

This is the way I fantasized school being, only better and without processed mashed potatoes and the scent of sawdust.  Chris is thinking the same thing, because without hesitation he strokes the back of my arm and kneads my shoulder with his strong hand.

“The Big House is for first through third grade.  Fourth through seventh each has their own buildings out back.  Our kindergarten and young fives program is located down the street at our sister school, the Little Red Barn, and our new high school facility is a few streets down the beach at the Blue Opus Academy for Fine Arts.”  Mel continues down the hall, waving her hand for us to follow.  “I’m sure you had time to research our program here?”

“A little bit.” Chris takes my hand again.  His palms are sweaty like he’s being interviewed, because he is.

She smiles over her shoulder.  “No worries if you’re not up to speed.”  She stops in front of a room with large windows facing the hallway.  “Our program was designed for children who like to be challenge; those who are on fast track above the public school system and need to be put on a higher path. 
For instance,” she lifts her hand to the room, “our school boasts a fully recognized orchestra program that is affiliated with many of the top colleges in the state.  We have regular, acclaimed guests from the industry come in on a weekly basis to help the children hone their craft, and at the end of the year our orchestra participates in a national competition, which is the highlight of their year.  For those children looking to make music a career in the future, the program helps them get noticed and eventually leads to college offers and paid studies abroad.”

“Oh.” Chris looks at me for help.  “Joey doesn’t play an instrument.”

“Not all children here do, Mr. Wyzak.”  She pats his arm.  “Some children are just gifted and don’t fit into a category.  Here at Blue Ridge, our purpose isn’t to define a child by a program, it’s to nurture their talents and help them feel accepted.  Because we both know being a child in today’s world is almost harder than being an adult.  And being a child with a passion for higher education in a school that doesn’t help them get that is stressful and most of them time causes them to feel as though they’re different, a black sheep that has to nowhere to fit in.  It’s ironic this school used to be a home, because that’s exactly what it is to children that have no place left to turn.”

That was the moment every bit of stress exited Chris’s body, as if he’d been waiting to hear those exact words from Mel’s mouth for Joey’s entire life.  His child could be a child again.  His son could have a home away from home, a place no one would tell him he was different from any other boy his age.  It was a sign that Chris coming out to the world was okay and his son wasn’t being punished for it.

“You mentioned Joey loves to read on the phone,” Mel says.  “Does he happen to love writing too?”

Chris twines his fingers with mine, craves to be closer to me so that I might literally feel the joy he’s experiencing.  “I…don’t know.  Maybe?”

“I’ll ask him in the interview.  We have a wonderful creative writing program.  Most of those students read books like we drink water.” She ushers us through the double doors to the fourth grade wing. 

Chris turns his head to the side to wipe away tears the moment Mel turns her back.

***

It’s been a long day.  Sister Grace, Blue Ridge and checking up on Grumpy have taken their toll.  Joey is twisted up in his sheets, purring into his pillow and out like a light from a day of playing his heart out.  He’ll sleep easy tonight because we haven’t told him about Blue Ridge yet, or the interview he has with Mel on Thursday.  Joey stresses about everything from the soap in the bathroom being out its tray to the stocks section in the paper—even though he has no idea what any of it means. 

We decided to tell him Wednesday morning over breakfast and bribe him with a trip to the mall, so he can pick out a pair of sneakers that don’t adhere to a dress code. Hopefully he’ll be too involved choosing lime green shoelaces over blue ones to notice how scared he is to go to a new school.  And pass the interview process.  Or worry about tuition or how his hair needs another trim.

We want him to be himself when he goes to meet with Mel.  We want him to be a kid, a right he deserves like any other boy his age.

Chris and I back out of Joey’s room and close the door to stare at each other.

I’m not sure what to do.  I know what I want to do.  I want to be closer to Chris, share in this euphoria even if it’s one of those moments that doesn’t happen often in real life.  Because life isn’t perfect, it’s never been this perfect for me or for him.  Guys like us don’t get this lucky.  Ever.

But right now, everything is good.  We’re good.  He’s most certainly good as he puts his hands on my shoulders and traces the slope down my arm with his thumbs.  My entire body channels him, every hair rising to greet his tough palms and calloused fingertips.  I search his eyes, wondering what this means, what he wants of me.  How far can we go from here to express ourselves the way we want without him shying away and calling it a night?

“Want to watch a movie?” he asks as though his throat is made of sandpaper.

I know now that our code has changed.  It’s in his eyes, in the way his tongue darts out to wet his lips.  In his fingers as they draw me closer to him under the dim light above.  No one told me hallways could be so sexy.  The wood floor under my feet is slick, cold and stiff against my toes.  An air vent kicking on around my ankles, sending licks of freezing flames up my calves and straight to my spine.  Another one of those damn plugins that smells of Hawaiian Breeze or Tropical Voodoo or whatever the hell it’s called, tickling my nose like love potion no. 9.

But what makes the hallway sinful is Chris.  Chris in his daily uniform of sweatpants and a college t-shirt.  Chris with his dirty blond hair that catches the light like spun gold.  Chris with his weathered blue eyes that have stories to tell and I’m the only one who can understand them.

I want him.  I’ve never wanted someone like this in my entire life.  I’m scared to make a move because if I screw up, I could push him away.  Tension so thick, my lungs malfunction with the desire to suck all the oxygen out of the house just to survive.  I fist my hands at my sides, needing control over myself when all I want to do is touch him everywhere.

He chose me.  Me!  I’m the one he wants to be a family with.  I’m the one who gets to love his kid alongside him.  I’m the one he now runs to when he can’t handle it.  I’m the one he yells at and apologizes to.  I’m the one that takes it because I know how to give it back.  I’m the one he looks at from across the room, a look he makes me feel down to my toes.  I’m the one he touches ever so gently like he can’t believe I’m real.

I’m his.

“Logan?”

“Okay.”  I lift my hand to take his. 

He leads me into his room, our room, and this time the atmosphere is foreign.  It’s still the same room, still home, still smells like him but something has changed.  He stops me at the foot of the bed and looks me over before meeting my eyes.  He’s nervous as all hell and so am I because I feel as though he’s going to tell me something good or something bad.  Something that changes us.

I’ve already dealt with so many changes.  If it’s bad, I can’t deal with it right now.  I can’t deal with losing my fifteen minutes of perfection.  I’m not ready to leave yet.

My worries seem slight compared to his, which only scares me more.  His hand trembles in mine as he darts a glance at his side of the bed.  On his nightstand is a small box of condoms and his plan for the evening hits me like a freight train.  I don’t move or blink as he shuts the door and locks it.  I can’t think when he takes my hand again and urges me to sit next to him on the bed.

He wants me too, the little voice in my head screams through a megaphone.     

Chris turns the television on low and sets the remote on the floor before he moves to face me.  “I’ve only done this twice before and not since Joey was little, so I have no idea how this works in a relationship.  And I know this isn’t romantic and it’s not how I pictured it with you, but… I really need you right now, Logan.”

He sits back to pull off his shirt like it’s a sacrifice to me.  His hands go to his knees, unsure of where to touch me and his vulnerability is naked in its rawest form. 

For him to admit to me his deepest desire and his fears in a roundabout way...Shit. It’s almost feral, the feeling that tornados through my chest.

I remove my shirt to even the playing field, so we’re equals and he doesn’t have to be afraid anymore.  My hand finds home around the back of his neck.  His soft hair toys with my palm as I claim his mouth, before he can work himself into a corner with other things he doesn’t want to admit.  Unlike our previous kisses, this one tastes endless and neither of us have anywhere to be.  My tongue spears into his mouth.  I rise up on my knees, tugging him along and then drive him onto his back in the center of the mattress.

His hands love the feel of my hips, my shoulders, my chest because he traces each spot like he’s writing words on my skin he can’t speak out loud.  The tension pours out of us in soft moans, urgent gasps for air, in his fingers as they clench the bedding in tight fists because I press my weight on top of him and he’s crazy for it.  His heels lock around the back of my knees.  His hips drive up into me, back arching and muscles flexing; a slithering eruption of longing below me. 

He longs for me; I taste it in the sweetness of his tongue and hear it in the way he whispers my name in two breathy syllables against the corner of my mouth.

He fuels me.  Our bare chests catch and pull our skin as we begin to move.  Hands and feet scrabble to find the perfect spot where we click.  And we do; we click as I inhale against his lips, my hands almost ripping the tie of his sweatpants to take them off.  We click as our eyes meet and he doesn’t shy away from my stare, instead begging me to continue, begging me to touch him; to release him.

He unravels me.  The tie comes free of its stubborn knot as does my mind when it veers off the beaten path and into the unknown with him.  His pants slip down his hips and my fingers hook around the waistband of his briefs, another garment lost to the growing pile of fabric on the floor.  Naked before me, Chris is not just sexy; he’s beautiful because I know he’s mine.  And with his eyes, he tells me I belong to him too.

I dive in because there is no going back.  I’m deep in the fire, lost to the flames and no amount of water will put me out.  But right now the burn is worth it.  If I get hurt in the end, I will wear my scars like battle wounds because I know they were worth every bit of heartache it took to get them.

To be continued…

Friday, May 23, 2014

Be Back Next Week!

Hey all!

Sorry for the short notice but I'm not going to be posting my FFF today. I got stuck with late appointments at work tonight, so I won't be able to reach my laptop in time and typing a long post from my phone is no fun. :( But I'll try to get something up by Monday night for you. Thanks!

Hugs,

Night